


dark and stormy

by CallicoKitten



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, all aboard the trash train, but here i am attempting to make you feel sorry for them, hux and kylo are both awful people, sorry Mum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-12 01:10:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5648302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallicoKitten/pseuds/CallicoKitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo knows before the Supreme Leader is even consulted that he will not allow a rescue mission for their General. </p><p>He knows this because it's is his immediate response to the news too. It makes sense; after all, Hux is hardly irreplaceable. He is merely a man and though Snoke will be hard pushed to find someone as smart, as loyal, as quick as Hux there is no shortage of suitable successors. Besides, men break easily and when men break they talk.</p><p>And men who talk are traitors.</p><p>-</p><p>aka, the one where hux is kidnapped, kylo saves him and then through an unfortunate series of events they end up taking shelter with the resistance</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this trash ship has taken over my life
> 
> written for [ this](http://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/1082.html?thread=797498#cmt797498) prompt at the tfa kink meme
> 
> title refers to the song dark and stormy by hot chip

Kylo knows before the Supreme Leader is even consulted that he will not allow a rescue mission for their General.

He knows this because it's is his immediate response to the news too. It makes sense; after all, Hux is hardly irreplaceable. He is merely a man and though Snoke will be hard pushed to find someone as smart, as loyal, as quick as Hux there is no shortage of suitable successors. Besides, men break easily and when men break they talk.

And men who talk are traitors.

He receives the message while off-base on a training manoeuvre with the Knights. Their dear General, it seems, had decided to accompany Phasma and her troops on what should have been a fairly routine raid. Kylo isn't sure what exactly would have spurred on such a ridiculous decision (Hux is hardly accomplished in art of anything other than pencil pushing) until Phasma meets him upon his return.

She's the sole-survivor and she's clearly discharged herself from the med-bay early. She holds her helmet under her arm and there are neat row of stitches on her brow, "The Supreme Leader ordered that raid specifically," she informs him.

She's doing a good job of keeping her voice neutral, professional but Kylo doesn't need the Force to sense the waves of anger rolling off her. She and the General have always been close; Kylo would even call them _friends_ if Hux went in for that sort of thing.

"The General was uncertain, he wanted time to gather more information but the Supreme Leader was _insistent,_ " she continues.

Kylo shakes his head, "And what _precisely_ was he hoping to achieve by accompanying you? He's hardly an accomplished soldier. Perhaps he was hoping his ridiculous hair would draw fire away from the troops?"

"I think, my Lord, that he might be able to glean more information and give us clearer orders with a better perspective on things." She shakes her head, doesn't add the _idiot,_ Kylo knows is coming.

"Who was it?" Kylo asks, "Resistance?"

Phasma shakes her head, "I do not think so, my Lord. The raid was ordered on a Resistance base but the men who jumped us were most certainly not with them. There were too many careless civilian casualties."

That's not good. At least if Hux had been taken by the Resistance he would be spared the worst aspects of torture. He closes his eyes to the thought, grateful that his helmet obscures his facial expressions.

Phasma swallows, looking towards Snoke's chosen room, "He will not grant us permission to launch a rescue mission, will he?"

"I should think not."

Phasma nods, once.

"You are dismissed, Captain."

"Sir," she says, rather coldly. She reaches up and fits her helmet calmly and turns on her heel.

-

It is only after Snoke has denied his request to take a few men and go after the General that Kylo truly allows himself to feel it. (And Snoke knows, Kylo thinks, has always known about the nebulous thing growing between his apprentice and his General, and he delights in watching Kylo's barely restrained rage.)

Perhaps, Kylo notes, this is some sort of twisted test, orchestrated to by the Supreme Leader to test his loyalty. Kylo wouldn't put it past him.

He destroys a room or two and storms into his quarters, yanks off his helmet and throws it across the room. Closes his eyes and let's himself imagine the worst.

Hux will resist as long as he can, far longer than an average man, Kylo is sure. He can picture him now: sat ramrod straight in whatever chair they have him chained to, face impassive as they hit him, burn him.

He will not talk, not until they do their worst.

It would be easier, Kylo thinks, if he did. If he gave up whatever it is they want from him and they put him out of his misery before they can do any lasting damage. Hux would prefer that, Kylo thinks. To be dead rather than branded a traitor, rather than being useless.

Kylo, on the other hand, would most definitely not prefer that, rather annoyingly for everyone.

If this _is_ a test, Snoke probably believes that Kylo will be conflicted; that he will dither over his loyalty to his Master and the Force and his loyalty to a man he semi-regularly takes to bed.

But Kylo has not felt so clear-headed in years. He knows precisely what he's about to do and though there is a large part of him that recognizes that throwing his entire life away for someone who claims to loathe him, he still finds himself leaving his quarters, heading towards the hangar.

He finds Phasma lurking, for reasons unknown, outside of his rooms. Her helmet is back on but Kylo can feel her conflict as she stands before him, "You..." she begins slowly. "You are going after him?"

Kylo's hand goes to the lightsaber at his belt, he does not want to cut her down but he will if he must. He would destroy this whole damn ship if he had to, he realises. It's rather sickening, actually.

He nods his assent and Phasma takes a breath.

Kylo braces, expecting her to aim her blaster squarely at him but instead she glances around the empty corridors. When she's sure that they are indeed alone, she leans forward, pressing a small drive into his hand. "This is all the information I could gather on the men who took the General. I think you will find your path to the hangar pleasantly empty."

Kylo blinks, "Captain." He says, by way of thanks.

Phasma nods, "I trust this will remain between us, my Lord."

Kylo smirks, "Of course."

She glances around once more and leans closer, "Make sure you don't kill them quickly, my Lord." She says saluting, and then she's turning and marching away.

Kylo stares after her but after a fashion he makes his way towards the hangar. Thought it irks him to leave behind his own ship he knows it will be far too easy to trace. Any of these will be, he'll have to land somewhere and commander a less conspicuous ship.

Luckily, he knows just the place.

-

It takes him near a week to find out where Hux is being held, the data Phasma had gathered was sparse, full of holes that Kylo had to fill in himself and even then, he only manages to come up with the name of the planet. (A backwater little moon on the outer rim, barely worthy of being _called_ a planet.)

For the rest he has to use The Force and his light-saber. He extracts information from every name on Phasma's drive; the people who have Hux are barely more than extremely well-armed raiders with a penchant for explosives. An off-shot of the Resistance, kicked out because of their extreme views. They stumbled upon the First Order troops by accident, as Kylo understands it, and the opportunity was too good to pass up.

Their plan is to glean as much information from him as they can and then sell him to the highest bidder. Rather unsurprisingly, there are more than a few parties interested in having the man who destroyed the Republic to do with what they please.

Kylo gets to the planet and reaches out, he's been in Hux's mind before, it shouldn't be too difficult to find him amongst the little shanty towns that cover the rocky surface.

(He is not entirely prepared for the _hurt_ radiating through Hux's mind. It's white hot, obscuring, it crashes over him in waves and Kylo hisses, recoils. Snoke would use this as a lesson, _attachments only breed weakness_ , as though Kylo didn't already know this.

He takes a breath and tries again, pushes past the anguish - Hux is chanting over and over again in his head, sections of Palpatine's speeches to keep himself grounded - and _there._ Kylo has him. It takes him an hour to find the base, twenty minutes to tear it apart, making sure everyone in it suffers as much as possible.

They beg, oh do they _beg_ and if Kylo were not so _aware_ of Hux's proximity, Hux's pain, Hux's _fear_ (low and creeping, slow moving like a glacier and _wrong_ \- Hux is not a man that feels _fear_ ) he would spend longer with them. Ensure they all knew how it felt to have every single bone in their hands broken one by one, flay off their skin in long thin strips and make them _howl,_ trap them in their minds forever.

But he can't focus on wanting to draw it out; all he can focus on is Hux.

-

In his dank, dirty cell, Hux is pale and still, sat against the far wall, legs outstretched.

He looks up when Kylo enters, meets his eyes with a well-practised cold stare. They - his eyes - are framed now by bruises - deep purples and blues and greens that match his eyes fading out into yellows. There's an open gash along his cheek bone, "About time." he says and there's a tremor in his voice that Kylo elects to ignore.

The room smells like blood and sweat and worse. Hux's right hand is a swollen, bloody mess.

"Maybe I should have secretly installed a tracker on _you_ ," Kylo snaps. He takes a few steps more towards Hux and Ben, rippling underneath the surface, wants to reach out, wants to soothe. "Can you walk?"

Hux looks at him like he's mad, "Not really, no." He indicates his left foot, chained not as Kylo first thought with a cuff, but with a single metal rod, pushed through the skin and bone, connected to chains on both sides. A grisly technique that requires expert precision.

"Ah," Kylo says. He holds out a hand, ready to shatter the rod with the Force.

Hux looks panicked, "No, you _idiot_! Unless you've somehow become an accomplished medic yanking it out of my ankle is only going to kill me quicker!"

" _Alright,_ " Kylo hisses. He knew that, knows that. He's just finding it a little difficult to think right now. He snaps the chain on either side of the rod and Hux pulls himself up on the wall, leaning heavily on his right leg.

He takes a step and goes an alarming shade of green, left leg crumpling beneath him. Kylo catches him as he lurches forwards and suddenly, there's a wave of disgust radiating off Hux and he's flinching back - _hands, hands everywhere, hands where they shouldn't be and Hux can't stop them, Hux is powerless -_

Hux recoils and hits the wall hard, chest heaving.

Kylo wants to rage, wants to resurrect the men who did this to Hux and break them so thoroughly they will never be put back together again (Ben, and Ben is always oddly loud where Hux's safety is concerned, Ben wants to reach out and make Hux stop _shaking_.)

Because Kylo has no idea what to do, he listens to Ben. Ben can be loud for a dead boy.

He reaches out and curls a hand around Hux's upper arm, gently, loosely. Hux squeezes his eyes shut.

" _Hux_ ," Kylo says. Kylo urges.

Hux's eyes flutter open, "I'm _fine_ ," he grits out, yanking his arm from Kylo's grip. "Just get me out of here."

-

Hux doesn't let Kylo touch him until they get to the ship Kylo stole.

Kylo tries to lead him to the bed in the small living quarters but Hux insists on riding in the co-pilots seat until they're safely off the planet. Their knees brush in the cramped cockpit and Hux doesn't shift away.

Hux is quiet as they fly, "I assume you are here without permission," he says, eventually.

Kylo glances at him, "Of course I am. Did you think anyone else would care enough to come after you?"

Hux huffs out a sigh, "Then I assume we are also currently fugitives. Marvellous." He shifts to stretch his legs and winces. "I'm _fine,_ " he snaps, when Kylo shoots him a worried look.

Hux is most certainly not fine. He's considerably more pale than he had been and his good leg is jittery.

"If you're going to keep insisting that you can at least let me look at your wounds," Kylo says.

Hux wants to say no, Kylo can tell. His good arm is curled across his chest protectively and he sighs, " _Fine._ But just so you know, I'd really prefer a _trained_ medic."

Kylo rolls his eyes.

Hux stands with difficulty but this time he doesn't shrug Kylo's attempt to help off (he still tenses though - still shudders against the onslaught of _hands and hands and hands and worse -_ ) "It'll be alright," Kylo tells him gruffly.

"Shut up," Hux mutters.

The ship's living quarters are a small main room with bunks, a kitchenette, a table and a long, low couch. Kylo deposits Hux on it and rummages around in the small bathroom to see what he can come up with.

"Is there a shower?" Hux calls.

"Unfortunately for the both of us, there isn't."

Now that he's calmer he can think properly. He'll only really need to deal with the worst of the wounds, there's no reason he can't go back to the Order now. Snoke will be angry, but there's only so much he can do to scold Kylo.

(And it's rather frightening that Kylo is so calm about this, that he's willing to risk Snoke's wrath and rage for Hux, but Snoke can do his worst, as far as Kylo's concerned. Hux is safe and mostly okay and that's all Kylo cares about right now.)

He returns with a meagre medkit to find Hux with his head tilted back against the wall, eyes closed. He looks delicate, breakable. There are bruises on his throat in the shape of fingers, what looks like a bite mark where his neck meets his shoulder.  His ruined hand lies limp on the couch, staining the already ruined material with blood.

The cuts and bruises Kylo can handle, he can even knit together some with the Force - it's something his mother taught him, something Snoke has always been fascinated by - but Hux's hand will have to wait. It's too complicated for him, he doesn't want to risk causing more damage.

He clears his throat to announce his presence and Hux jerks, eyes snapping open in an all too obvious moment of panic. Hux catches himself quickly though, as he always has. "Took you long enough."

"Keep that up and I'll forget about the pain killers in here," Kylo warns.

Hux glares at him but stays quiet, Kylo counts that as a victory. He kneels down, "I'll take care of your ankle first." He gives Hux a warning before yanking out the metal rod and Hux makes a choked off yelp of pain that makes Kylo want to - want to do _something._ He looks up to find Hux biting down on his lower lip, eyes squeezed shut.

This isn't something that happens to people like them. People like them don't develop _attachments_ to each other, people like them don't run across the galaxy to rescue each other, don't patch each other up with anything less than brisk efficiency. If they were _anyone_ outside of themselves this would be _so_ much easier.

He wraps a gentling hand around Hux's undamaged ankle, "Shall I tell you what I did to them?" he asks in a low voice. He pictures the bone knitting itself together, the flesh around it healing.

Hux lets out a shaking breath, "If you must," he says tightly.

Kylo stands, turning his attention to the gash on Hux's cheek, talking all the while. It knits itself together neatly, becoming little more than a raw pink scar in a matter of moments. Then he reaches down to tug gently at the hem of the ratty black jumper Hux is wearing. "You need to take this off," Kylo says gently when Hux stiffens.

After a beat or two Hux raises his arms and Kylo tugs the jumper off him, tossing it across the room.

There are burns across Hux's chest and back, bruising that would indicate a handful of broken ribs, cuts and sores and whip-marks. There are bruises on his hips too and Kylo _knows_ what happened to Hux - _eyes squeezed shut, biting down on his lower lip until he tastes blood, he will **not** give them the pleasure of making him scream, he will not, he will **not**_ \- it's not a surprise and yet it still feels like a kick in the teeth.

Kylo lets himself feel his rage for a moment, Hux's rage, their own shared rage, before he closes himself off to it and focuses on the task at hand.

Hux has always been lean but never like this. It's only been a week, Kylo reminds himself, wondering whether they fed Hux at all.

"They didn't," Hux says bleakly and Kylo blinks. "I can hear you," Hux explains, inclining his head. "When you rattle about up here."

Kylo swallows, "Shall I show you what I did to them, then?"

Hux's mouth twitches, "That would be a welcome distraction."

Kylo obliges.

-

He does what he can - heals the simpler cuts, cleans the rest, straps Hux's ribs up. He examines Hux's hand gingerly, closer now he can see where the bones protrude from the skin. If they don't get back to the Finalizer soon it will start to fester.

"All I can do with this for now is clean it," Kylo tells him.

Hux's eyes are closed, "Make it quick, then." He says tiredly. Kylo desperately wants to heal the ugly bruises on his face. Hux hisses when Kylo submerges the hand in antiseptic and gently fits it in a sling.

"That'll have to do until we get back."

Hux hums, then he blinks, "Back where?"

"To the Finalizer. _One_ of us is still an essential part of the Order. Now, we need to find you something to eat - "

Bizarrely, Hux giggles. Hux doesn't _giggle._ Hux doesn't even _laugh._ "Oh, _yes._ I'm sure the Supreme Leader will be _thrilled_ to see me like this."

Kylo arches a brow, "I thought you said you were fine."

"I _am_ fine," Hux barks crossly. Then he sighs, leaning back against the couch, "I'm tired," he mumbles.

"You have to eat - " Kylo begins.

"I'll eat _later_ ," Hux mutters, shifting so that he's lying on his side. He yawns as his eyes flutter shut and Kylo (just barely) resists the urge to run a hand through Hux's filthy hair.

Kylo thinks about _making_ him eat something, it's probably what he _should_ do but he really, really doesn't have the heart to wake him up. He can at least set a course for the Finalizer, they'll probably be there before Hux wakes up if the ship's warp drive has enough juice in her but just as he turns to go Hux says, very quietly, "You can't take me back there."

Kylo turns, "Excuse me?"

Hux has rolled onto his other side so that all Kylo can see is his back.

"I talked, Kylo," he says softly. "Not much, but I talked. If you take me back, they'll kill me." There's a hitch in Hux's breath. "Actually, maybe you should. It would be the right thing to do."

Kylo clenches his fists, "I am not going to do that."

Hux rolls over and regards him sleepily, "You're an idiot, Ren." he says gently.

Kylo turns and heads back to the pilot's chair.

 _I know,_ he thinks softly.

-

Kylo is called out of the cockpit by the sound of Hux whimpering. He's spent the past hour or so staring out at the stars, trying to formulate a plan.

If Hux talked then the First Order will want him dead and since Kylo went after him, they're probably even less pleased with Kylo. Their best bet is to head as far away from any First Order base as they can and hope no one recognises them. It rules out the nice, cushy med-bay Hux needs though. Kylo might be able to intimidate someone into treating him but it will be far from risk-free.  

Hux has half fallen off the couch, twisted in the blanket Kylo threw over him as an afterthought. He's writhing, desperate to get away but his jaw is clamped shut, as though he's determined not to give anyone the satisfaction of hearing him cry out even in sleep.

Kylo shifts Hux back onto the couch without much difficulty but Hux's nightmare doesn't let up. He whines, "... _please -_ "

Kylo puts a hand on Hux's forehead.

In his dreams, Hux is surrounded. They are breaking his hand and whipping and burning and holding him down and - 

\- and Hux is _powerless._

In Hux's dream, Kylo tosses them away from him with a flick of his wrist, falls to his knees beside Hux and pulls him to his chest. In his dream, Hux doesn't pull away. Hux shakes and presses himself as close to Kylo as he can get but the dream around them is still and the Raiders have morphed into a cold black room and a sneering voice from somewhere behind them.

"Ah, so you have returned to us, General," Snoke purrs.

" _Kylo_ ," Hux says.

And Kylo has no idea what he's supposed to do so he ends up humming, the way his moth - the way _Ben's_ mother used to when he had nightmares of that same voice. It's an old Republic hymn that Kylo can't remember the words to but Hux doesn't seem to recognise it as such.

It takes a long while but Hux eventually calms.

Kylo moves him to the bed and after a few moments of indecision, climbs in beside him. The ship is on autopilot, they should be safe for a while at least. Hux shifts towards him, pressing into his side.

"Thank you," Hux whispers.

Kylo runs a hand through Hux's hair, "Well, I couldn't let them kill you. I want the pleasure of doing that myself someday."

-

When Kylo wakes, Hux's skin is fever-hot against him and he knows exactly where he has to go.

It's not a good idea. In fact, it's probably the worst idea Kylo's ever had, but it's the only place he can think of where both he and Hux won't be shot on sight, where Hux can get the medical care he needs.

Hux is going to kill him.

The ship has just enough power in it to make the jump and Kylo braces, ready for warning fire or worse. He's not certain the base is still on D'Qar but he hopes, he hopes.

The ship enters the D'Qar's atmosphere and he reaches out desperately through the Force for _her_. She's there, she always is, a fiery orange that reminds him of Hux's hair. He lets her in, lets her see all of it, lays himself bare for her and then she's gone.

Kylo isn't immediately shot down so he takes that as a cautious invitation. He steers the ship down follows her presence to a base. As soon as he lands the ship is surrounded by armed men. That girl is there, he can tell, the scavenger girl from Jakku and FN-2187 and Poe Dameron.

And her.

He gathers Hux into his arms and leaves his helmet behind as he exits the ship. Hux mumbles something in his sleep as they step out onto the runway.

His mother's eyes are round and sad.

"General," one of her men says, uncertainly.

His mother holds up a hand to silence the man and takes a step towards Kylo.

"Please," Kylo says.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys, you are my favourites 
> 
> this is even less beta'd than the first chapter so you know, play spot the typo

In the calm before the storm, Kylo sits and watches the rhythmic rise and fall of Hux's chest.

The base is quiet around them and no one, outside of the rebels who led them in and the medics who tended to Hux have spoken to him, and Kylo's glad. He has no idea where they go from here, what his - what _Ben's_ mother will do.

Initially, they wanted to separate them, put Hux in a specialised med-cell and trap Kylo in here alone, but Kylo did away with those plans easily with a few well placed glares.

The room they're in has been specially made, he was told, by a senior officer who met his eye, designed by Luke Skywalker to suppress connections to the Force. Kylo hasn't told them that he's still connected enough that he'd be able to break through the doors if he wanted to. Maybe that's just what the room does, tricks you into thinking you can do more than you're capable of and then watches as you go down in flames.

That seems to be Skywalker's way, after all.

He's not sure whether Skywalker is on the base, he can't sense his presence through the Force but that doesn't mean anything. Kylo's connection is strong but Skywalker's has always been stronger, more developed.

They've set Hux up with a bed and a healing pod, knitting his bones together and feeding him up, making him good as new while Hux sleeps through all of it. It's _unnerving_ , sitting here in silence, listening to Hux breathe, waiting for something to happen. Now he's here, (now he's home), he has no idea what he's meant to do, what he's meant to say.

Before he just needed Hux to be okay. Now, they're kind of trapped.

Hux is going to be _majorly_ pissed off when he wakes up. He probably would have preferred _death_ to being a Resistance prisoner. Kylo can picture his expression, the way he'll roll his eyes and snarl about it, he smiles despite himself, allows himself a moment to brush back a few damp locks from Hux's forehead.

This is by _far_ the most ridiculous situation he has ever been in.

He wonders how long it'll take for Snoke to find out where they are, or if indeed he already has. "I wonder if Phasma's heard the good news," he murmurs. Hux doesn't respond, unsurprisingly. "She thinks you're an idiot, you know. For going along on that mission - which you are, by the way." He's rambling now but it's been over a week since he's slept for more than an hour or so at a time so he can't really be blamed.

"I really, really wish I could hear whatever lecture she's prepared for you," he says, sitting back with a yawn. "I bet she'd have cooked up a really tedious work out routine for you as punishment and really, Hux, you should have been better prepared. I'll bet you didn't even fight; you probably just shouted at them and glared. I've told you that only works with your officers and the troopers, no one else finds you all that scary."

Kylo trails off, wondering whether Phasma could have gotten in trouble for letting him slip out when there comes a rather hesitant but heavy-handed knock on the door.

Kylo jerks around to look at it, caught off-guard. After a moment, a window appears and two heavily armed guards peer in. Kylo stands.

Then the girl from Jakku appears - _Rey,_ he recalls dimly, "Breakfast," she announces, far too chirpy for Kylo's liking. "Try anything and these men will shoot."

Kylo arches a brow, "You seriously think they could hurt me?"

"We won't be aiming at you," the bulkier of the two guards says with a meaningful look at Hux. It's a bluff, it has to be but for some reason he's not willing to risk it.

Kylo barely keeps his rage in check and the girl shoots the guard a sharp look. The guard shrugs, one shouldered. Kylo could snap his neck easily, crush his windpipe and watch him writhe and die on the floor.

The girl's gaze snaps to him and abruptly, he hears her voice in his head, _you won't though._

She'd slipped in without him noticing. He blocks her out promptly.

He steps back and the door swings open. She steps in carrying a tray of food (Ben's favourites) and the door slams shut behind her. There's a lightsabre at her hip, his grandfather's. Something that should be rightly his.

She stands for a moment, studying him.

"I would have thought _you_ would be given more important tasks than feeding prisoners," Kylo says, with as much bite as he can manage. "Or are you less skilled than I thought?"

She raises an eyebrow, "No one else would risk coming in. We've all seen what you're capable of."

It's odd, she's wary, but she doesn't seem _afraid_. There's anger there too, an undercurrent of rage she's barely concealing but it's overridden by pure, unbridled curiosity.

Intriguing.

She takes a few steps into the room and Kylo, after a moment's consideration Kylo steps back to let her. She sets the tray down on the table by Hux's bed and looks back at Kylo, "The medics want me to get some readings for them," she says, carefully.

Kylo narrows his eyes.

"They showed me what to do, it's easy."

She's asking his _permission_ , Kylo realises.

"Well, I heard you tried to bite their heads off when they tried to separate the two of you," she says. _Kriff,_ Kylo must have let his guard down again.

"Stop doing that," he demands.

She smirks, "I'm not doing it on purpose, believe me. There aren't many places I'd want to be _less_ than inside your head."

"Just do what you need to and leave," he snaps.

She nods and turns back to Hux, taking notes as she goes. Kylo watches her closely. After a few minutes, she pulls back, straightening up and turns back to Kylo. Her gaze is inquisitive, open. "Can I ask you something?"

Kylo would really rather she didn't but she's intriguing so he inclines his head.

Her gaze flickers towards Hux again, "Why come here? You knew we wouldn't let you go again, that you'll both be prisoners now."

"Better a prisoner of the Resistance than a prisoner of the Order."

She cocks her head to the left a little, "But you wouldn't have been a prisoner, right? You're the leader of the Knights of Ren, the Supreme Leader's Apprentice, he wouldn't just  - " she stops herself mid-sentence, looking down at Hux again.

She must have worked out the answer to her question and it's making Kylo distinctly uncomfortable. She looks back up at Kylo curiously and he can almost hear her thought process. She's thinking that there must be light in him, if he's willing to go this far to save someone, if he cares that much. What she doesn't get - what no one in the Resistance will get - is that Hux has never brought the light out in him.

In Hux's mind there is no light and dark side, there is only order and chaos. Hux feels no conflict, no guilt over the things he's done, the lives he's taken, because in his mind he is doing what is right. Regimes and Empires fall and are built every day, none without bloodshed, he is merely furthering the trend and in the end, it will all have been worth it.

Well, perhaps not anymore but _once_ -

The girl's eyes widen and she must be in his head again. He feels her in his memories, pawing through them clumsily like a child. Uncontrolled, haphazard. Kylo remembers that feeling, that fear he felt years ago when he realised he didn't need to touch things to break them.

She tugs at things by accident, tripping into them on ungainly legs - _arguments on the bridge, that first angry kiss after he'd almost crushed Hux's windpipe, that blinding rage he felt when he sensed Hux's pain -_

_\- that soft, rare smile that makes Kylo feel weak and that cold sneer that makes him feel like he could destroy the universe -_

He slips into hers to make things fair; it's familiar, like a well-worn glove and he skims across her tangle of thoughts until he finds what he's looking for, _a stolen kiss, hesitant and chaste from the stormtrooper - one with more heat from the pilot - the confusion, the mess in her heart as she bounces between the two -_

She blushes, "Get out, that's private."

Kylo smirks, "I could say the same to you."

She narrows her eyes. There's something more she wants to say, Kylo can tell but after a beat, she turns back towards the door and leaves.

"Well," Kylo says, sitting back down beside Hux's bed. "That was dull."

-

He resists the tray of food for as long as he can - not because he thinks the Resistance would stoop so low as to poison him but out of spite. Fortunately, he's not so far gone that he can't recognise his own childish tantrums so eventually, he relents.

It's cold by then but it's still better than anything they served on the Finalizer. Hux never complained, the Finalizer worked from an old Imperial cookbook, prioritising nutrition over flavour, but Kylo - and oddly Phasma - had found eating the same dreary meals day after day tiresome.

Hux would probably change his mind about food if he tried this, though.

When he's finished he sets the tray neatly by the door and stands over Hux, part of him wants to Hux wake up, just so he'll have someone to talk to. Part of him never wants that to happen because he can only _imagine_ the colourful expletives Hux will come up with when he does.

Kylo yawns.

 _Kriff,_ he's tired.

He sits down on the edge of the bed. Last time, they knocked before anyone came in so hopefully he won't have to worry about anyone killing them in his sleep. He'll only be asleep a little while, he assures himself, carefully lying down so as not to disturb Hux.

Just a little while.

-

When he wakes up, they aren't alone in the room anymore.

He has rolled towards Hux in the night, curled around him as Hux is held still by the mechanisms of the healing pod and it takes a few moments for him to recall where he is. Why he is. Then he realises something is _wrong._

There is someone watching him.

Despite himself, despite the years and years that have passed since he has found himself in this position, Kylo sits up quickly, tugging the blankets with him to shield himself from prying eyes.

He drops them quickly.

General Organa sits, a little way from the bed, watching him closely. She leans on a desk that must have been brought in for this express purpose and too anyone who does not know her well she must look casual, cool, collected. Kylo sees through this.

When Ben was a boy his mother would sometimes come into his room when she thought he was sleeping. Sometimes she would sing soft songs that her parents taught her, sometimes she would talk quietly about his mess of a father.

Ben never minded then because it meant she would be close at hand if he cried out in his sleep.

But this is not then and he is not Ben.

He collects himself quickly, swings himself out of bed and meets her dark gaze, "Enjoying the view, General?" he bites out. It is petty, but then he has never been above pettiness.

Organa's composure wavers but only in the minuscule details, a quick little blink to mask the _regret-pain-disgust_ that flutters past in her gaze, a twitch at the corner of her mouth. She leans forwards. "I thought we should talk, Lord Ren."

There is a pause, an infinite pause, before she uses his name, his title and when she does so it is with as much vitriol as she can muster and still sound civilised.

Kylo stands.

He grabs the chair from Hux's bedside and drags it across the floor to Organa's desk, ensuring the legs scrape against the concrete as he does so. Organa cringes at the sound and shoots him a scolding look.

( _How many **times** have I told you, Ben? That **awful** noise..._)

Kylo drops into the chair, "As you say, General."

There is a moment where they size each other up and Kylo allows himself to admit that even now, even after everything that has happened between them, even knowing that should he choose to he could snap General Organa's neck before anyone had a chance to stop him; she still makes him feel small. He wonders how she envisions this meeting going, whether she hopes he will break and beg her forgiveness but no, he thinks deep down she's always known it was a losing fight.

Han Solo was the one who wanted his son to come home healthy and whole, General Organa just wanted her son out of the line of fire. She didn't care how.

There is a brief, almost imperceptible flinch from the General - a flash of _is that what you truly think of me? -_ and Kylo arches a brow, "It is not polite to root around in your captives head, General," he leans forward, "In some circles they would call it _torture._ "

She sits back, "You would know, Lord Ren."

Kylo mirrors her, "So, what is to be our topic of conversation, General?"

"You have put us in a very difficult situation here, Lord Ren, as I'm sure you are aware. Renouncing the First Order is not something they take lightly and it will be very dangerous for us to shield you. There's quite a price on your head." She says, slowly, carefully. "And there are, of course, those who are rather less accepting of your presence here than others. So, I am here to make a few things clear to you. Think of them as the terms of your surrender and the terms of your imprisonment."

"So I am to be your prisoner, rather than your _refugee_?" Kylo had expected no different but prisoners must take their pleasure where they can. "After all, I came here seeking your help."

"You did," She says, simply. "And it has been granted. But that does not mean you are no longer a threat, nor does it mean you will be afforded the same luxuries we offer to others who come to us seeking shelter. Make no mistake, Lord Ren, you are our prisoner, that you are here _willingly_ makes no difference."

Kylo snorts. _Willingly._ Desperately, more like, but she knows that.

"So, you have my word that you shall not be harmed, nor executed by anyone claiming to fight for the Resistance provided you answer our questions and concede any information you have concerning the First Order and their plans."

"You expect me to turn traitor? The First Order does not take kindly to traitors, you know."

Organa raises a brow, "You've fled the First Order, taken shelter with me, with the Resistance, aren't you already a traitor?"

Kylo inclines his head. He supposes he always knew, distantly, that he would have to offer up something in return for the Resistance's protection. The prospect isn't as unappealing as he thought it might be though, this has always been less about the First Order and more about the dark side to him, anyway. It was just a coincidence that those two coincided so often and Kylo wonders whether he would fight just as hard were things the other way around, were the First Order fighting to restore the Republic and the Resistance pushing for strictness and order.

"And don't bother lying," General Organa adds, casually. "We have people who can verify your claims."

She can't mean the girl; she's too untrained, too clumsy. Skywalker must be here, in that case. Kylo curls his hands into fists atop the table, "Very well." He bites out. "Next?"

"You will remain in this cell at all times. If you are to leave it will be with several escorts. Try anything and you will regret it."

Kylo sneers, "Oh, I _bet_."

Organa ignores this, "You will aid the Resistance to the best of your abilities and should the time come when you wish to fight by our side then - "

And there it is. There is the General's greatest weakness. She still thinks he can be saved, after all this time.

Kylo rolls his eyes, "Yes, let's not get carried away, General."

General Organa purses her lips and looks away, down at her hands, "The same protection," she says, without looking up. "Cannot be afforded to your companion, however."

Kylo narrows his eyes, "What?"

Organa looks up, meeting his gaze, "You heard me, Lord Ren. You are useful to us, he is - "

"No," Kylo snaps. "No, _you_ are a sentimental old _fool._ " He should have expected this, he should have known, he should have _never_ have _trusted_ her -

Organa's composure is slipping, she has to take a deep breath before continuing in that calm, detached drone of hers, "General Hux is a _war criminal_ , Lord Ren. He will be tried and - "

" _I_ am a war criminal. There is little that _separates_ us."

"Ben," Organa starts.

"It's _Kylo_ ," he bites out.

"He's killed a lot of people," she continues.

"So have _I_ ," Kylo points out.

General Organa slams her fist on the table (she'd do this when Ben was young, mostly when she was arguing with - ) Kylo doesn't jump, but he does fall silent. "He wiped out the entire Hosnian system. That's _billions_ of lives, Ben. _Billons._ "

Kylo stands up, hand outstretched, "Ben is _dead_!" He yells and the Force is weak in here but he can still grasp at her throat.

She does not struggle, nor does she panic and Kylo -

\- releases her.

"Tell me, Lord Ren," she says calmly, "What did you expect when you came here?"

For a moment, Kylo stares at her, he doesn't know what he expected but they are _not_ taking Hux from him. He doesn't need his lightsaber to destroy a room, he never has. He drags the desk out from under here, tears it apart in midair. The chair he occupied goes the same way.

"Look," he growls, "It's simple. You touch him and I tear this base, and your operations, apart. I can do it. You know I can. How many of your soldiers could withstand torture, General? I'm willing to bet all of them can be broken. I could have every undercover agent, every base, everything you've ever planned in a matter of days. It would be _easy._ The First Order could further their goals and I'll leave _you_ alive just long enough to see it."

Organa watches him impassively, there's not even a _hint_ of fear in her steady gaze. When he's done she stands, gently smoothes down the wrinkles in her uniform. "Are you quite finished?"

Kylo stares at her.

"You might be my son and there might be nothing I want in the galaxy more than to keep you safe, but this is war and it's a war I've fought before and I will _not_ lose it again. Now, I will do what I can to keep you alive because I am _sentimental_ but I will also do what I need to to keep you in _line_ ," she glances towards Hux.

 _Oh,_ Kylo thinks. "You'll use him as leverage."

"Only if I have to," the General replies, voice tight. "I know what it feels like to lose someone."

Kylo swallows.

(Ben had felt Han Solo's life flicker out, Ben had cried out in agony. Kylo had never thought about how General Organa would feel.)

She takes a step towards him and then another, reaches out slowly. She's giving him ample time to move away but something keeps him rooted to the spot. Her touch is gentle, hesitant, "I always knew you would be handsome," she says, in a strangled voice.

It's enough to jerk Kylo out of whatever trance he's found himself in. He steps back quickly, away from her touch. She withdraws her hand as though she's been burnt and sighs, "I will do what I can to protect you. And _him,_ though that does depend on how co-operative he is."

As if on cue, Hux shifts in his sleep and lets out a soft little whimper.

Kylo turns back to him, alarmed. The medics put him in an induced coma, he shouldn't be moving - something must be wrong - something must be -

"He's alright," Organa says flatly. "Physically he's fine so the medics have reduced his sedatives. He should wake up tomorrow."

Kylo lets out a relieved breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Maybe he's imagining it, but Hux already looks a little less pale. He reaches down, unthinkingly runs a thumb along the neat scar the runs across his cheekbone.

After a moment, there comes the soft hiss and snick of the door.

Kylo only looks back when he's sure she's gone.

-

Kylo's left alone for the rest of the day, pacing the bare room and listening to Hux murmur his way through nightmares. He only steps in when they get bad, when Hux cries out or threatens to wrench his injuries.

It's _trying_ to say the least.

And then the girl comes back.

She's carrying a tray of food, generic stuff this time and it's enough to have Kylo wondering if he read too much into his breakfast food (but General Organa doesn't operate on coincidence.) Her gaze is more guarded this time and she takes in the wrecked furniture scattered about warily.

She sets down the tray by the door but she makes no move to leave.

" _Yes_?" Kylo snaps, when he can no longer take her steady gaze.

The girl shrugs, then shakes her head. Kylo still doesn't get her, doesn't understand her part in this or why he feels such a _pull_ towards her. He reaches out, out of boredom mostly, but she blocks him at every turn. She's learned quickly then, impossibly quickly. Or perhaps he's just distracted.

On the bed, Hux whimpers and Kylo glances down at him. He's chewed through his bottom lip, in an attempt to keep quiet and _fuck,_ if Kylo could kill those men all over again he would. He leans down, brushes his thumb across the little nick, wiping away the blood and the pain.

"Good as new," he mumbles.

He turns back to find the girl staring at him. She cocks her head, "How did you do that? I can't do that. _Luke_ can't do that - "she breaks off, like she's said something she's not supposed to.

Kylo shakes his head, "I already knew Skywalker was here, girl. Did you think any of you could keep that from me?"

The girl's eyes narrow, "It's Rey." She says sharply.

" _Rey,_ then. And to what do I owe this visit, _Rey_?"

She flushes angrily but doesn't take the bait, instead she says, "General Organa."

"Yes, what about our dear host?"

"She thinks you can be saved. Despite everything, she still thinks her son is somewhere in there."

Kylo sighs wearily, "Ben Solo is _dead._ "

Rey shakes her head, a slight smirk playing across her features, "We both know that's not quite true."

Kylo shatters the remaining chair with his mind.

"That was clever," Rey says, as she leaves.

This was definitely the worst idea Kylo's ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this might end up being five parts instead of three if the space babies co-operate
> 
> you should hit me up on [tumblr](http://paracosmss.tumblr.com/) maybe


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few bits of this might seem a little rushed because word crashed last night and didn't autosave so i lost a l l o f i t which is why you should always back up your work, kiddos.

In the chamber, Hux knelt, head bowed.

He had never met the Supreme Leader on his knees, had always held his head high and kept his back straight, as his father had taught him. He had always spoken with clearly, proudly, in the knowledge that the Supreme Leader would guide him well, that any wrath and rage he inspired would be just and well deserved.

Hux had always thought he would meet his end thusly, standing proudly, meeting his killers eyes.

Now though, he cowered.

"So, you have returned to us at long last, General." the Supreme Leader purred, every syllable he spoke like ice, chilling Hux to the core. "How very **brave** of you."

"S-Supreme Leader," Hux began. He cursed himself, he had **never** stammered and he would not now. "Supreme Leader," he began again. "I - "

With a wave of his hand Snoke silenced him, a vice like grip about his throat, unseen ropes cutting into his wrists and ankles, baring him aloft. Hux knew better than to struggle.

"You have returned to us," the Supreme Leader repeated. "You have crawled here, to me, on your **knees**. A traitor. What would your father say, if he could see you now, I wonder?"

Hux swallowed, a blush rising across his cheeks.

Snoke shook his head and abruptly dropped Hux. Hux landed in a tangled pile of limbs and bit back a pained groan. "Such a pity," the Supreme Leader sighed. "I had such **high hopes** for you, General. Though looking back on it, I cannot imagine why I **ever** held you in such esteem. Your life's work was blown up in a matter of minutes, General. Before it could make **any** last impact on the galaxy. I should have done away with you then and there, shouldn't I?"

It took Hux a beat too long to work out that the Supreme Leader wanted an answer and as he scrambled to his knees again he was struck down by a smart blow across his cheeks.

"Answer me, **boy**."

Cheek stinging, Hux met his leader's eyes, "Yes, Supreme Leader."

Snoke sat back, regarding Hux coolly. "Yet I did not and my reward for sparing you is betrayal. Tell me, General, what would you do, were you in my position?"

Suddenly, Hux became aware that they were no longer alone in the chamber; all around them were men. Men with ropes and whips. Men who burnt and hit and held their knives like paint brushes. Men whose touch, Hux knew well.

Hux bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood and then, through gritted teeth he spoke: "I would make an example of whoever dared to turn on the First Order."

He closed his eyes, prayed it would be quick as Snoke laughed. It was a breathless, wheezing sound, eerie and unnatural.

"I am glad there are still things we agree about, General. So, you'll be pleased to learn that your demise will not be hurried. We will take our time here, to ensure your underlings **really** get the message."

There was the sound of heavy footfalls, someone wearing boots, clunking against the metal floor. Hux barely dared to hope.

When he opened his eyes, Kylo Ren stood before him, helmeted. Slowly, he unsheathed his lightsaber.

"Oh, don't get your hopes up, General," Snoke said, from somewhere behind Ren. "There will be no daring rescue today."

The blade fizzled to life in Ren's hand and slowly, slowly, slowly, he raised it to press against Hux left cheek.

Hux held out for as long as he could before screaming.

-

General Leia Organa watches as the man who had once been her son brushes back his General's damp hair. It is strange seeing such tenderness between two such men and there is part of her that sings that there is still hope for him, her boy, her only son. Luke has not been forthcoming about his thoughts on Ben's state of mind and Luke is the only one she trusts to give her an unbiased opinion on things.

"General," C-3PO says, from behind her. "I have assembled everyone you asked for. We are ready to begin deliberations!"

With a sigh, Leia switches off the feed. "Thank you, C-3PO." She makes her way out of her quarters and into the command centre. Already assembled are the highest ranking members of the Resistance and those she trusts most. Her admirals and captains, her heads of staff. Finn and Poe Dameron, Rey off to one side with Luke who keeps well back from the others.

Only Chewbacca is absent, he's refused to discuss Ben at all with her. Leia knows he's hurting, he's the only one here - other than her - who still wants to save him but they're both conflicted. Ben - no, Kylo Ren - killed Han, ripped him away from them, and neither of them have yet recovered.

She takes a deep, steadying breath before she begins, "I am sure you all know why you are, so I won't bother with drawing this out more than we need to. As most of you are aware it was initially our intention to keep Lord Kylo Ren alive in exchange for intel and to have Hux tried and executed for the destruction of the Hosnian system. It appears though, that we may have to amend our initial plan."

There are a few in her gathered audience that grit their teeth, shake their heads. Most gathered here want to see Hux hang and, though Leia has never believed in punishing killing with killing, she has to admit, the idea is not _un_ pleasing. If they hang Hux, though, should they not also hang Kylo? He is just as culpable.

It has not even be suggested yet, executing her son, and Leia is both grateful and annoyed.

"Lord Ren has refused to share intel with us unless we guarantee the safety of General Hux along with him."

"Who is he?" spits her Head Dispatcher, Nerro, "To make such demands? With respect, General, we all know how much he means to you, but he is a prisoner and he has just as much blood on his hands as the General. He should not be allowed to make demands like that."

"And what would you have us do?" Commander Statura says, sternly, saving Leia the trouble of calming the girl. Nerro had family in the Hosnian system, she remembers. Many of them did. It's natural that they feel so strongly. "Should we _make_ him talk?"

"Well," Nerro mutters. "We know at least that it works on the General." Almost has soon as the words are out of her mouth Leia can see that the girl regrets them. "General," she begins. "I am so sorry."

"No," someone else says, Leia is uncertain of whom. "No, she's right. We cannot allow Hux to live, we cannot bend to Ren's demands. He would not afford any of us the same treatment." Tare Dinoa, she realises, Head Engineer. "If torture is the only way to make him talk, I say we are well within our rights."

There are some scattered murmurs of agreement at that and it is Poe Dameron that silences them.

"No," he snaps. "That makes us no better than them."

Leia shoots him a grateful look. The guilt she feels for putting him in such a position is immeasurable. Here stands a man who has suffered her son's darkness, her son's wrath personally, yet he will not see what was done to him, done to another.

She remembers the day he finally made it back to their base, assuring the medics and personnel that the worst thing to befall him was the tie-fighter crash. Leia had seen through the lie, seen the dark circles under his eyes, the way he jumped if someone touched him unexpectedly. She had seen the marks on his mind that he hid so well, had seen the cracks and scars her son had left behind, yet even that had not dampened Poe's smile.

"And while we're at it, _execution_ shouldn't be a crime for anything," Poe goes on. "Sure, if there's anyone out there who deserves it, it's Hux, but come on guys, we're better than that. This is the kind of tyranny we're trying to stop."

Finn stands beside him close enough that their shoulders brush against each other. She's not the only one who has noticed their closeness, across the room; Rey crosses her arms across her chest self-consciously. Leia did not make a habit of using the Force to pry into the hearts and minds of those around her, but there were times - there were people - who broadcasted so loudly it became impossible not to hear.

Rey wanted Poe. Rey wanted Finn. Rey was certain both of them, though, only wanted each other. So it was for both Poe and Finn, all three of them stumbling around, oblivious that their feelings all ran together as one. It was, on occasion, painful to watch and Leia hoped it would resolve itself soon.

"Besides," Statura adds, "The General will have just as much valuable intel as Ren does. Ren might have information on Snoke but all our sources suggest that he's not as involved in the military aspects of things."

"It's true," Finn nods. "Ren was away a lot training or undertaking missions personally for Snoke. General Hux ran things though. He oversaw most of the Order's plans. But... you'll have a tough time getting him to talk..."

Dinoa latches on to this, "You see? We may be able to persuade Ren to talk without resorting to torture but Hux is a different matter. And it is not as if we have time to waste, General, just because Starkiller Base was destroyed, doesn't mean they're any less of a threat. They still have the resources and technology to build one; they may even have a backup one ready."

"We cannot allow them to use such a weapon again, General," Admiral Ackbar agrees. "And though it may be distasteful, if it does come to it then I think we need to be prepared to take drastic measures. There is a difference between brutality and justice as well you know, General."

"Besides, if it's something as big as the location of a second weapon, I'm sure Ren will know," Nerro adds, crossing her arms.

It's at this point that Leia puts her foot down. "No. Alright? _No._ I am saying this once and once only: we will not be torturing anybody. As Commander Dameron said, that is exactly the kind of brutality we are fighting to prevent. There are other ways of ensuring their cooperation, I am certain of it. Besides, injuring or executing Hux will only incur Ren's wrath."

Finn shudders.

"We could separate them," Rey suggests. It's the first time she's spoken up which is odd, usually she's much more vocal at their strategy meetings. She shrugs when everyone turns to look at her, "I don't know about Hux but it'd work on Kylo at least, trust me, I've been in his head. We separate them and tell him he can only see Hux if he cooperates."

"Okay," Finn nods. "Okay, but I think you're forgetting the part where he'll flip the hell out and try to kill us all if we do that. He can make furniture blow up with _his mind._ You all realise that, right?"

"I can do that too," Rey insists, eyes narrowing when a few sceptic looks are thrown her way. "What? I can!"

"Don't demonstrate," Luke says, pre-emptively. "It's true though, Rey is strong with the Force. She may even be stronger than Be - than Lord Ren. But I certainly don't want her going up against him yet."

Rey glares at him, "I bested him once before."

"He was badly injured and not in a clear state of mind," Luke points out.

"When is he _ever_ in a clear state of mind, though?" Finn asks.

Rey beams at him.

"Enough," Leia says. "Rey, you will not be fighting Lord Ren."

"We could drug him," Statura suggests.

Leia shoots him a sharp look.

"Just a sedative," Statura says quickly. "He'd only need to be out a few minutes while we extract the General."

Leia looks a Luke. Her brother nods, "It could work. He'd need a higher dose than usual but if we're careful it could work."

Finn holds up his hands, "Well, don't blame me when he Force-magics you to death."

Rey, who has crossed the room, nudges him with her shoulder, " _Baby_ ," she smirks.

"I think you're mispronouncing 'perfectly reasonable adult who doesn't have a death wish'."

"Alright," Leia says. "I'd say it's as good a plan as any. It will certainly be easier to speak to Hux alone. Someone get down to the med-bay and see what they have down there and I'll need volunteers to help move Hux."

People begin to file out, Rey and Finn continue bickering playfully and Leia calls out to Luke, "Luke, a word?"

Luke looks like there's nowhere in the galaxy he'd rather be less but with one last longing look at the door, he hangs back.

-

Hux awakes with a cry.

He is staring up at a clean, white ceiling. The air smells clean and fresh with a slight tang of antiseptic and for some reason, he has been placed on _a bed._ He shifts experimentally and finds all his limbs free and, thankfully, intact.

He must be dead. That's the only explanation because this is not his dingy cell and if the First Order had captured him they would certainly not have bothered to treat his wounds.

For a few moments he lies still, considering. If this _is_ death his head wouldn't be pounding quite so much and his hand wouldn't ache with the after effects of the healing process being sped up. Probably, anyway. It's not like Hux can speak from experience.

So he's not dead, then. But that only raises a whole host of other questions.

Then he remembers Ren rescuing him, Ren bundling him onto a mangy little space-craft that was probably never flight-worthy to begin with and being so damn _gentle_ about it.

There hadn't been a shower. He hasn't showered. Though the medics probably saw to it, Hux suddenly still feels _caked_ in the filth of those men and he can feel their hands on him, he can hear them _laughing -_

He clenches his fists until his nails cut into the skin there.

He is not weak. He is not going to turn into a quivering, nervous wreck. He is not going to -

"Do try not to get too much blood on the sheets," someone says, to the left of him. "It's very difficult to get out, you know."

No, Hux wouldn't know. The First Order has troopers to deal with that sort of stuff and they've never had any trouble getting blood out of his uniform before now. Hux, of course, doesn't say any of this. Instead, he turns his head to look at the speaker.

General Leia Organa is sitting beside his bed, lounging by in her chair as though bored, "Did you sleep well, General?" she asks, leaning forwards in a mockery of politeness.

How long as she been sitting there watching him sleep? Watching him thrash about through nightmares? Hux clenches his jaw. This is all a power ploy, he knows, a way to make him feel more vulnerable.

"I'm going to guess no," she continues. "Mostly by the blood on your chin from where you bit your lip but also by the awful racket you were making. Thrashing about like a lamproid without a head."

Hux glares at her, with as much venom as he can muster, "Where am I?"

She sits back, "A Resistance Base."

"How did I get here?"

"You were brought here by Lord Kylo Ren. He sought medical treatment for your wounds and safety."

Of course. _Idiot._ Anywhere would have been preferable than the Resistance. Hux would even have taken the First Order over _this._

"I won't talk," Hux says. "I'm not going to tell you anything so you might as well - "

"Oh, I know," Organa says. "I just thought we'd have a little _chat._ "

Hux frowns, "Where's Kylo?"

"He's safe," Organa replies shortly.

"Can I see him?"

"No."

 _Oh,_ Hux thinks. "You're using me as leverage," he says flatly.

Organa smiles, "Wouldn't you do the same if you were in my position, General?"

Hux has to begrudgingly admit that he would. Without a second thought. And now that he thinks about it, he would expect no less from the woman sat before him. "I'm not a General anymore," he says, a little more bitterly than he would have liked.

"Shall I call you Brendol then?"

"Certainly _not_ ," Hux spits.

"You're right, that's your father's name. I met your father once, you know," she says conversationally. "A vile, scheming little man."

Unbidden, memories of his father are rising, his cold blue eyes and - Hux narrows his eyes. She's in his head.

It feels different to Kylo. Kylo burns hotly and has _no_ grace. His mother though is gentle, sneaky, he doubts he would have noticed her intrusion if he weren't so familiar with having people playing about in his mind.

 _Stop it,_ he thinks, firmly.

Her presence vanishes.

"Hux will do fine," he bites out.

She nods, "Hux, then."

For a few moments they're silent, Hux glaring and Leia smiling placidly back.

"What do you intend to do with me when this is all over?" Hux asks, eventually.

"When the war is over or when Kylo Ren has given us everything we need?"

"Pick one," Hux snaps.

"Well, that depends. I made a promise to Kylo Ren that no harm shall come to you in exchange for his continued cooperation and that will go beyond sharing details of the First Order's plans."

 _Traitor,_ Hux thinks hotly.

_What does that make you, then?_

"Beyond that, who knows? There will come a time when I am no longer in charge of  your fate and when that time comes I would like to be able to say that you had cooperated fully."

"So that I can spend my days rotting away in some Republic prison cell? Forgive me if I don't sound _thrilled_ about the prospect."

Organa raises an eyebrow. Her son does that too. Hux hates it. "That's assuming we emerge victorious. Have you lost faith so quickly in your Order?"

" _Hardly._ I'm merely being realistic. Supreme Leader Snoke has lost both his left and right hand within a few days, I may be replaceable but Ren is not. They will struggle to replace us. I wouldn't be surprised if Snoke pulled back a while and reconsolidated his power."

To Hux's great surprise, Leia chuckles. Another thing, Hux learns that Kylo got from his mother. "You're not modest, are you?" she asks, grinning.

"Modesty serves no purpose," Hux answers.

She nods, "I suppose that's true. So, if you're not going to help us and you object so strongly to being imprisoned for the rest of your life, I suppose we should consider other options. There are many who'd pay a pretty price for your head, you know. It's not just the First Order you've pissed off - though they are offering quite a hefty sum."

Hux smirks, "You wouldn't."

Leia shrugs, "You know what it costs to run a base like this."

"Sell me and you'll lose all chance at getting your son back and you know it." Hux taunts.

Leia is unaffected, "So, you think there's a chance we can win him over?"

Hux stammers, "I - _no_ \- "

She grins (Kylo must have gotten his smile from his father - Leia's is far too dangerous, far too self-assured,) "You're making this far too easy but I suppose I  shouldn't be surprised. You're still young."

Hux can't stop the angry flush that spreads across his features, how _dare_ she? He opens his mouth to protest but she's shaking her head, suddenly serious again, "The fact remains though, General. You committed one of the most heinous acts of violence and destruction this galaxy has ever seen. There are many who would like to see you pay for that."

The Hosnian system. Hux rarely thinks about it.

"And do you count yourself among them, General?" Hux asks, calmly.

Leia meets his gaze but ignores his question, "Tell me, if you had the person who gave the order to destroy Starkiller base, what would you do?"

Hux tilts his head to the side a little, this is a new game but he catches on quick. "I'd have them tortured for information and execute them, General, as well you know. Would you like to know what I'd do to them in detail? Because I'm afraid you'd have to ask your son about that. I only _oversaw_."

"Yes," Leia says, and finally, the mask of indifference she's wearing begins to slip and the _disgust_ she's been hiding peeks through. "You never did like to get your hands dirty, did you?"

"Oh, trust me, General. I've gotten my fair share of blood on my hands."

"Yes, the entire Hosnian system, for example."

"You are _fixated_ ," Hux smirks. "Do you think you have any less blood on your hands, Organa? How many stormtroopers do you think died when the base crumbled? How many in the battle? How many in the death stars you and your brother blew up? They were children taken from families they would never meet and trained to fight in a war they may not have chosen. Did they really deserve death, General? Really?"

Leia regards him with open contempt.

"Perhaps you should ask your defector. FN - 2187."

It's a low blow but it seems to have hit its target and Hux isn't done yet. He's angry, oh he's so _angry._ Angry at those men for daring to lay a hand on him, angry at Kylo bloody Ren for bringing him _here_ of all places, angry at Leia Organa for not just _killing_ him already.

"And while we're at it, who takes responsibility for the millions who starved to death in the chaos your little uprising caused all those years ago? You had thirty years to build a Republic and look what you achieved, there are _billions_ in poverty while you and your _nobles_ and your corrupt _politicians_ gorge themselves at banquets and wear only the best fabrics. Freedom only breeds greed and misery, General, it is about time you and the rest of the galaxy accepted that!"

"Are you quite done, General?" Leia asks, as soon as he finishes speaking. It is like a slap across the face. She uses the kind of tone he has used time and time and again to quell her son after one of his tantrums and that - he realises - is how she is seeing him right at that moment.

It makes him feel rather small and he splutters indignantly while she looks on.

"You - You - " he stammers, trying desperately to come up with something to say but he can't, all there is in his mind is laughter echoing off cell walls and Leia Organa's dark eyes."I am _not_ a General," he ends up mumbling.

Leia looks vaguely surprised at that, but she hides it quickly.

"It does pose an interesting question, doesn't it?" she says and Hux frowns at her. "The storm troopers," she clarifies. "How culpable are they? Raised to fight, raised with no other options. One might say that extends to people like you, who were raised in the Order."

"It's _different,_ " Hux snaps. "I had a _choice_."

Leia laughs, "Oh, I don't know. I've seen enough of your father to know that there was never much of a choice for you."

She's in his head again, he realises. She must be. His chest feels tight. Far too tight and the bed covers are restrictive all of a sudden but he can't throw them off, not in front of _her._

She's doing this on purpose, she must be. She's making him feel like this, she's making his thoughts race and his memories run together into _hands_ and his father's disappointed stare and Snoke's soft threats and Kylo just out of reach -

"Get _out,_ " he growls.

She spreads her hands, placating, "I haven't been in your head for a while." She stands and Hux realises how short she actually is. How can a woman of her stature make _him_ feel small?

"You know," she says, very quietly. "I made a promise to myself and to my people that we would not stoop to your level. There would be no torture here, no executions, I don't believe in either of them and I hope my troops respect that. I had hoped that our little chat might be enough to change your mind about sharing information with us - it was a long shot, I know, but I had hoped for Ben's sake."

 _Ben._ She still calls him _Ben._ It's almost pitiful. How can a woman as strong as her have such a _gaping_ weakness.

"But it's clear that you won't cooperate and unlike Ben, I can't persuade you merely by keeping the two of you separate. So, this will likely be the last time you see me." She takes a few steps towards the door before continuing. "Before I go though, there is one last thing I must do."

Hux raises his head.

"I had friends in the Hosnian system and many of my rebels had family out there. Family you destroyed."

Hux rolls his eyes; he just wants her to _leave_ so that he can have his breakdown in _peace._

"And I am sorry that I have to put someone who has gone through what you have so recently through something like this but - "

Hux flushes angrily, how dare she feel sorry for him. How _dare_ she?

"the fact remains the you deserve this."

"Deserve what?" Hux spits. "Your animosity? I can live with it, thanks."

Leia shakes her head, "I'm going to make you feel it."

Hux almost snorts, "Feel _what_?"

"Every life you took," she says, ominously and there is the beginnings of something at the back of his mind. "Every person you left behind. Their fear, their sorry, their pain as they burned alive."

It's all encompassing. It's all around him.

It's swallowing him up and he's drowning in it.

He's never felt such _grief_ , such _terror._

He can't breathe. He can't think. He can't _move._

All there is _agony._

He holds out as long as he can before he breaks, before he screams, "Stop - _please_ \- stop!"

And just like that it's gone, it's over.

Hux's mind whirls and through the haze he hears Leia sigh, "I am sorry." The worst of it is she sounds genuine and when he looks he's sure she looks regretful. But he can barely process that right now, it's all he can do to keep breathing.

After a few moments he hears the hiss and snick of the door and then, in the back of his mind, he hears a voice: _Hux?_

He almost _sobs_ with relief.

 _Kylo,_ he thinks back.

There's a flash of destructive rage, _What did she do to you_? And Hux can feel the ghost of hands trying to soothe him but - _but -_ he writhes away.

 _I'm sorry,_ Kylo says. _I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just breathe. Breathe, Hux._

"I'm trying," Hux mumbles. "Believe me."

 _I won't let them hurt you,_ Kylo assures. _I won't let anyone hurt you again._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a little late, i've been busy like you guys wouldn't _believe_

"You shouldn't have done that," her brother says, as soon as she steps out of Hux's cell. His voice is so loud and clear that she resists the urge to glance about and find him. He won't be there, she knows. He could be on the other side of the base, off world, anywhere.

 _Don't you think I know that?_ She thinks back, nodding to C-3PO who immediately starts nattering about the rest of her plans for the day.

Luke's silence is the only answer she needs.

She sighs, prompting C-3PO to turn and ask, "General?" She waves him off.

It hadn't felt _good_ doing what she did to the former General, especially in the state he was in. But, she reminded herself, no matter how bruised and battered he was, he was still the man who had condemned billions to death. And she could have done so much worse.

In her head, Luke tuts, "He'll never trust you now, you know."

Leia scoffs. Ben trusting her again was always a long shot. She doesn't need his trust anyway, she needs his compliance. She can feel his anger burning in the back of her mind, as it always has; he's never been able to hide _that_ from her. It's brighter now, hotter, incandescent. Leia knew that rage once, the kind of rage that could tear solar systems apart.

There's a crushing wave of world-weariness from her brother and she allows herself, just for a moment, to imagine a world where she and Han and Luke raised Ben properly. A world where she told them about Snoke's designs on her son and they stopped him together or a world where Snoke never existed, a world where Ben was born blissfully disconnected from the Force. A world where her son and her love were still with her.

It's rare that she allows herself to indulge in fantasy and _oh,_ it _hurts._

Luke's pain has always been brighter than hers, more obvious and keen, but hers has always been deeper. Bone-deep, ingrained into her being and throbbing. A constant, dull ache that she will never shake - that she does not deserve to shake.

Luke joins her in her lament; he blames himself just as much. Should have kept a closer eye, should have spoken up about Ben's anger, warned against sending him away. Should have protected him.

Leia closes her eyes briefly, their shared sorrow heavy between them. When she opens them, Luke is gone.

"So, will you be paying a visit to our other prisoner, General?" C-3PO asks brightly.

"No, I think we'll leave him to think a while."

-

For a while, Hux expects her to come back. Or at the very least, to send in other agents to pick up where she left off. He is ripe and ready for the taking, he'll break easier this time, he's certain of it. Kylo may have had faith that the Resistance wouldn't stoop so low as to torture but Hux has never had any illusions about their nobility. Underneath, Organa is just as ruthless as Hux is, she just does a better job at playing nice.

But no one comes and it takes Hux a while to realise that this must be part of Organa's plan too. If only Ren had his mother's mind, the First Order would already rule the galaxy. Leaving him alone is the most effective torture imaginable, all he has is a patchy connection to Kylo in his head, his own thoughts and an empty room.

The memories creep up and ensnare him out of nowhere, phantom whips and hands and burns and he has not been allowed to shower - he knews they must have cleaned him up before they put him in a healing pod but he still feels _caked_ in the grime of those men and it makes him want to _heave._

He doesn't sleep anymore, not much, anyway - maybe that's part of their plan too, sleep deprivation is an effective technique in the right hands. But _they_ aren't preventing him sleeping - it's the dreams.

Mostly it's Snoke, sometimes it's just the men but every now and again it's his father, standing there belt in hand looking so, so _disappointed._ And it's _pathetic,_ Hux knows. He is a man grown and his father raised him as most in the Order had been, he should not be quaking at the mere _memory_ of his father's belt. He _should not._

(And now there are memories that are not his own, children playing in their gardens, looking up just in time to be blinded by a flash of red and then _nothing -_ )

 _Hux,_ Kylo's voice is always in his mind as he comes back to himself. (In his dreams Snoke cackles sometimes and asks whether Hux would have gone after Kylo if their roles had been reversed. _No,_ is the answer he dredges up. No, he wouldn't have.

He wonders if Kylo knows that.)

 _You're okay,_ Kylo assures. _I'll destroy them for this; I'll get us out of here._

Hux wants to scream. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve Kylo's comfort. He shouldn't _need_ it. He is coming _apart_ and it is not something that should be happening.

"Kylo," he mumbles.

 _I'm here,_ Kylo says. His voice faint and distant. _I'm not going anywhere without you._

-

"He's not doing so good," Poe says, through gritted teeth. It's more to himself than to anyone else, but Leia looks up anyway. The room is mostly empty, it's pretty late, Rey and Finn are asleep but Poe's been planet-side too long, he's getting restless.

He has the cell feeds up. It's been over a week since Kylo Ren turned up on their base with a bruised and bloody General Hux in his arms. It's been three days since the General woke up. Neither of them have been questioned since then and, as far as Poe can tell, both of them are going out of their minds. Ren has destroyed his cell, all his furniture but Hux has shut down. He paces endlessly, mutters to himself and when he allows himself to sleep he wakes twitching with nightmares soon after.

It doesn't sit right with him. Leia had shut down any suggestions of torture but here she is, allowing them to torture themselves into insanity. Poe knows that neither of the two men would show an ounce of the compassion - of the empathy - he is now but it doesn't make him feel any different. He knows they chose to be who they were, Ren fell to the darkness and Hux was born in to it, but neither of them tried to leave.

Finn managed it and it was hard, yes, but he did it. Poe's fairly certain leaving never even occurred to Hux, he's not sure about Ren though. Ren left for Hux's sake, after all. What Poe doesn't get is why Leia hasn't tried to speak to either of them again yet.

He looks up at her, she's across the room, scanning reports from the few spies they've got active in the First Order. Since Kylo's defection the Order has been thrown into chaos, half the troopers seem to believe he had been a Resistance double-agent and had orchestrated Hux's kidnapping in the first place, the other half seem to want to follow his lead and abandon their cause.

At first, they'd hoped it would be enough, that the Order wouldn't recover from that blow, that defections would run rampant and in a week or two there'd be no Order to speak of, only a desperate old Sith Lord alone again. He wouldn't be too difficult to kill, Poe had thought, not with Rey on their team.

But it hadn't lasted. A new General, Hux Sr. had stepped up. More ruthless, less cautious. They'd gotten word of a second Starkiller being finalised, word of mass executions of defectors, of forced re-educations and waves and waves of planets invaded, prisoners kidnapped and moulded into stormtroopers.

They were actions of desperation, the Resistance knew but as Leia had reminded them, when wild animals are cornered and hurting, that's when they're at their most dangerous.

And Poe sees that exact scenario playing out on the screen before him.

"This isn't right," he says, softly. Leia doesn't seem to hear him so he says it again, louder. "This isn't right."

Her look is cool and impassive, "What isn't right?"

Poe gestures to the men on the screens before him, "You said we wouldn't stoop to torture but I don't see how this doesn't fit the description."

Everyone else in the control room seems to suddenly be completely absorbed in their various tasks, even Statura starts very pointedly scribbling at something. Leia sighs and maybe this isn't fair, Poe knows how difficult it is for her having Kylo here, having him close enough to touch but as far away as ever.

"With all due respect, General," he begins.

"What would you have me do with them, Pilot Dameron?" Leia interrupts. "Neither of them has given any indication that they're willing to cooperate yet."

"No one's asked again, yet," Poe points out. "General, especially with reports of the second base coming in I feel we should - "

Leia sighs again, "Well, pilot, if you feel up to it, be my guest." She sounds reluctant; like she knows arguing will do nothing and Poe wonders for the first time if the two have only been kept alone because Leia had no idea who she could ask to question them.

"Alright," Poe says. "I will."

Leia purses her lips, "You may speak to Hux. Ren is too dangerous."

Poe nods.

Leia shakes her head, "Be careful. Take Rey with you."

Poe considers this, he _would_ feel safer having Rey with him, or Finn, or anyone, really, but something inside him says it's not a good idea. If he goes in with someone else Hux will feel outnumbered, going in alone might make Hux feel less in danger, might make him more likely to co-operate.

Poe shakes his head, "Not a good idea. I'll go in alone."

Again, Leia doesn't argue. "I'll have people standing by outside. We'll be watching, Poe."

"What?" Poe says, "You don't think I can handle myself?"

Leia's lips twitch but she doesn't answer.

"Ask him about the second base," Statura says, as Poe leaves.

Poe nods, giving him a smile that is far more confident than he actually feels. Statura doesn't smile back but he does nod and give Poe a hesitant pat on the back.

Standing outside of Hux's cell, doubts start to creep in. Hux might not be as dangerous as Ren but he's by no means _harmless._ There's a voice that sounds suspiciously like Finn's telling him over and over in his head what a bad idea this is, how he'll end up dead or worse somehow and it'll be his own damn fault. But there's an equally loud voice that sounds like Rey telling him what a great idea this is, so there's that.

He takes a deep breath, turns and nods to one of the guards - Fama her name is, he recalls - and she gives him a weak smile before opening the door.

Hux is sat against the far wall, knees drawn up to his chest. His head, which had been resting on them, snaps up when Poe steps into the room. There's confusion in his eyes for a moment, then curiosity, "Poe Dameron," he says, standing. "I believe you stole one of my TIE Fighters."

He looks _awful._ There are dark circles under his eyes, darker than the fading bruises the healing pod hadn't tackled. He's pale, though Poe imagines a man of his colouring is always pale, and his hair is damp with sweat and grease. He's dressed in the loose clothes the healers stuffed him into and they hang off him, Poe doesn't think Hux has eaten much since he's gotten here. But even looking like he's about to keel over, Hux draws himself up to his full height and attempts to look intimidating.

It's admirable.

"Ah, yeah, that was me," Poe says, rather awkwardly. "Sorry, uh, about that. But you did kind of hold me against my will and, you know, have me tortured."

Hux doesn't look amused, "Actually, that was Ren, I believe."

"Ah, you Order Agents all look the same to me, what's the difference?" Poe says which is absolutely the _wrong thing_. He's supposed to be trying to win Hux over, not insulting him. Hux doesn't respond, expression unreadable.

Poe rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, "He keeps destroying his room, you know," he says, without quite knowing why.

A brief, fond expression crosses Hux's face and he smirks."Did you expect him to be well behaved?" he asks.

Poe shrugs and he realises, he really has no idea how to do this. Hux is watching him carefully, sharp eyes trying to needle out Poe's weaknesses. He'd watched Leia's conversation with Hux from the control room, Leia had made it look easy but she'd still not managed to get anything out of him.

Hux looks exhausted, he's sagging slightly, just too far from the wall to lean on it without appearing weak.

"You can sit down," Poe says, automatically.

Hux looks faintly amused, "Can I? How _gracious_ of you." He doesn't move though, instead he looks Poe up and down. "You're unarmed," he observes. He hides his surprise well.

"So are you," Poe points out.

Hux takes a few steps towards the bed and stops just short of it, "You're not worried I'll attack you?"

Poe grins, "I'm relatively sure I could take you and you know that."

Hux inclines his head in what Poe assumes is agreement and sinks down to sit on the edge of the bed. He looks up at Poe measuredly, "So, I take it you are here to play the carrot to General Organa's stick."

"Something like that," Poe says. He looks over to the chair, "Mind if I...?"

Hux snorts, "Be my _guest._ I'm afraid  I can't offer you anything in the way of refreshments, though."

Despite himself, Poe smiles, "I'm sure we'll manage." He pulls the chair towards himself and sits down, making sure his movements are as slow and deliberate as he can. Hux doesn't seem to see him as a threat, he's nowhere as guarded as he was when Leia was questioning him but just in case.

"So," he says, conversationally, as he settles into the chair. "Your old man has stepped up to run things at the First Order since you've been gone."

That gets Hux's full attention. He looks up at Poe fully, searching his face for any hint of deception.

"You didn't know that would be the case, huh?" Poe guesses.

Hux's scowl says it all for him.

"Is that going to be a problem for us?" Poe asks, out of genuine curiosity. "I mean, he's not gonna pull a Kylo Ren and stomp across the galaxy to save you, is he?"

Hux snorts, "Oh, don't worry. If my father does 'stomp across the galaxy' it won't be save me, I can assure you." Then he seems to realise he's opening up and he glares at Poe who looks away politely. "Stop that," Hux commands.

Poe smiles, "I was just asking. I didn't know, honestly."

Hux doesn't stop glaring.

"Relax," Poe says.

"Yes, _relax when you're prisoner in an enemy base,_ " Hux says, in an oddly accurate impression of Poe's voice. " _It'll all be fine! If you're not executed they'll probably keep you in here the rest of your life!_ _So relax! Enjoy it_!"

Poe really tries not to laugh. He really, really does. Hux flushes a deep red, more out of anger, Poe thinks, than embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I'm _sorry_ ," Poe says. This is going _so badly._ "I just..." he swallows, serious again. "That's not what I meant."

"What _did_ you mean?" Hux snaps.

Poe thinks about it. "You know, I'm not sure. I just want you to know that I'm not going to hurt you."

Hux rolls his eyes, "That's what your General tried to assure me before she..." Hux trails off, eyes downcast. He's trying to search for the word, Poe thinks. That or he can't bring himself to use the word _torture_. Hux still cradles his left hand to his chest and Poe winces in sympathy.

There was a while after Ren tore through his mind that Poe didn't trust his thoughts anymore, where he had convinced himself that destroying Starkiller base was just a torture-addled dream, made up by his own mind to keep himself sane.

"So, uh, you know if you cooperate with us, things'll go a lot easier for you," he says.

Hux fixes him with a cool look, "I know what you're doing, you know. You and your General's _plan._ "

"Oh, you do?" Poe asks. _Good,_ Poe thinks, because _someone_ should know what he's doing and it sure as hell isn't him.

"It won't work." Hux says firmly, sitting back.

"It won't?"

Hux narrows his eyes, "You think that you can convince me to talk by throwing my father in my face, by trying to convince me I had no choice in the way I was raised and you're right, that parts true. But I didn't stay out of a sense of duty to my father or loyalty to the Supreme Leader; I stayed because the Order upheld my _beliefs_."

Poe inclines his head, _interesting._ "So, it's not so much the Order, it's what they stand for. So, if you'd been born into the New Republic, for example, do you think you'd have defected to the Order?"

Hux raises a brow, "Would _you_ have defected to the Resistance if you'd been born into the Order?"

 _Touché,_ Poe thinks. "Well, I gotta say I hope so. I mean, I know how hard it would have been to leave, Finn's told me all about it. But I think I'd still think freedom was worth fighting for."

Hux scoffs, " _Freedom._ You really think the New Republic offered _freedom_ to anyone but the wealthy? More people starved under their rule than under the Empire's entire reign."

Poe could argue, but he's not going to, that'd only send them round in circles. "Okay, so what would the Order have done?"

"Work programs," Hux answers smartly. "Everyone would have equal pay and rations for their skill level."

Poe doesn't know enough about politics - or economics, maybe? - to debate that with him so he nods, "That sounds like a good idea." Hux gives him a knowing look. Poe shifts the topic, "So, when you were talking to Leia you said you didn't think the Order had a shot at taking over with you and Ren gone, you still believe that?"

"You have spies in the Order, do you not?" Hux asks and he sounds so _blasé_ about it. It makes Poe wonder just how much false information they've been fed over the years. "I'm sure you know more about their current state than I do."

"We know they're building a second Starkiller," Poe says.

Hux smirks, "Oh, that site B was completed a long time ago but I'm sure your antics at site A will have given them some ideas of how to improve it's defences."

Poe's blood runs cold; they'd all known there was a chance that the second gun was already viable but to hear it plain as day is unsettling to say the least. At any moment their entire system could be wiped out of existence. Hux's smiles at his discomfort, a bitter, venomous smile.

"And I'm guessing you're not going to part with its location?"

Hux shakes his head, "Why would I? And don't bother asking Ren, I doubt he'd be able to tell you anything. He never took much interest in back up plans."

 _Kriff,_ Poe thinks.

"So, why haven't they fired on us yet?"

Hux shrugs, "Maybe the Supreme Leader was holding out hope Ren would come back to him, but I doubt it. It's far more likely that my father is trying to develop a way to hit multiple star systems at once. It'd be neater that way, he'd be able to target all your bases at once just in case you decided to scatter."

Poe's mouth is dry.

"And yes, I am certain by now he'll have ascertained the locations of most, if not all of your bases. He'll have found all of your spies by now. Are there any who haven't been in touch yet? I bet there are."

There are. Two, in fact. Poe swallows, "Will he succeed? In extending the guns range?" he clarifies.

Hux shrugs, one shouldered, carelessly. "It was something we'd discussed but we all agreed it was rather wasteful to destroy so much of the galaxy." Then he smiles, tiredly. "So if the Order doesn't tear itself apart, we're liable to be blown out of existence any day now. _Relax._ "

Poe looks at him then, really looks at him. Gaunt and exhausted, Hux probably knew he was dead the moment those men snatched him, he just wasn't sure where it'd be coming from. He probably hadn't counted on Ren's rescue of him. He thinks back to the tender way Ren had brushed back Hux's hair, the way Hux had clung to him unconsciously as he slept.

"They'll kill us all," Poe says.

"Yes," Hux agrees.

"Ren too."

Hux's voice is a little tighter, " _Yes._ "

Poe cocks his head, "Don't you want to stop that?"

Hux's gaze is steely, "I can't."

"Well, if you told us where the base was you might be able to."

Abruptly, Hux stands and for a moment, Poe thinks he might hit him. He doesn't though instead he storms across the room and turns back to glare at Poe, "And what would you do? Scramble your little fleet of X-Wings to a base that will by now be _impenetrable_? It would be _futile_."

Poe sits back, regarding Hux, "I would have thought that'd be something you'd like to see. After all, if we're all going to die, what does it matter?"

Hux grits his teeth, "If I talk I'm a traitor," he snarls. Then he closes his eyes, " _Even more_ of a traitor," he corrects.

"But you might safe Kylo's life," Poe says. This is working, he can hardly dare to believe it but _this is working._ And behind his cold stare and clenched, shaking fists, Hux seems to be genuinely considering it.

"Don't you want to do that?" Poe asks softly. He feels _odd_ doing this, it's manipulative but at the same time it might save them all. He can swallow down any misgivings he has about mistreating prisoners for _this._ He takes a deep breath, "There's still hope for him. You know that, don't you? General Organa's brother thinks there's still good in him."

Hux has turned away from him and for a moment, Poe thinks he's said the wrong thing. Hux's shoulders are trembling slightly and his hands are balled into tight fists, tight enough that his knuckles are white. If Poe had said the wrong thing he's certain Hux would have turned and lashed out - whether physically or verbally so Poe continues, "He might not need to be locked up for the rest of his life."

Hux looks down at the ground.

"Come on, Hux," Poe says gently. "He saved your life, return the favour."

Slowly, Hux turns back towards him.

-

Kylo is furious.

No, he is beyond that. He had thought _here_ of all places - with _her_ \- Hux would have been safe but he feels Hux's pain just as keenly as he did when those _men_ had him.

But this time he is powerless to do _anything_ against Hux's captors. General Organa has paid him no more visits; in fact they have left him alone but for his meal deliveries. He has destroyed his room, taken apart the furniture piece by piece and thrown every meal they have sent him back into the unfortunate guard's faces.

He imagines Organa watching him on the monitors he knows she has somewhere in the cell. She will see him throwing a tantrum, look down the bridge of her nose at him like he did when he was a _child_ \- when _Ben_ was a child - and it makes him even more _enraged._

And he can do _nothing._ Nothing but destroy what they give him.

So it goes.

Organa sends him food, Kylo makes a mess, Organa sends someone to clean up said mess. And that someone is always Rey, Organa's final taunt.

He could snap Rey's neck before the girl realised what was happening, he is certain of it but he _cannot._ Organa has showed her hand, made her point. If he steps out of line, she will take it out on Hux.

Hux is quiet today. Kylo doesn't understand why.

Kylo was stupid for coming here. He should have run, he should have taken his chances.

He mulls this over, watching Rey clean up what had once been a metal tray full of griddle cakes. She hates this, he knows, she finds it just as tedious as he does. Kylo sits on the half-ruined mattress against the far wall. Rey finishes her task and looks up at him. As usual he ignores her, but she just keeps staring.

" _What_?" he snaps.

"I want you to teach me how to heal," she says, evenly. She is thinking of her friends, of FN--2187 bleeding in the snow. As much as she tries to stop it, she's still an open book but she is quick at building walls and Kylo cannot poke around in her head for long. Her dark eyes flash, "Can you do it?"

Kylo scoffs.

Rey stands her ground, "You said you'd be willing to teach me once."

"I _recall_ ," Kylo mutters. And that had been it, that night in the snowy forest as Star Killer Base crumbled around them into nothing, after he had finally killed Han Solo. That had been the night that changed things, that had been the night that had driven he and Hux together, both aching with failure and _angry,_ oh so _angry._ He does not care that Rey sees all of that, that her cheeks have coloured because he is recalling the moment the fighting turned into something else, that she is seeing more than anyone else ever has.

She lets out a breath and sways slightly under the weight of Kylo's feelings.

"What if I asked her to let you see him?" Rey suggests.

Kylo raises an eyebrow; she really believes she can change his mother's mind.

"I can," Rey insists.

Kylo dismisses her, "You already have a teacher."

Rey's eyes narrow, "So it's a no? You're refusing? Even if I get Leia to let you see him?" She sounds so _earnest._ As though she is privy to some side of Organa that Kylo has never seen, but Kylo still knows her, however much he wishes he could forget. She was stubborn, as stubborn as anyone Kylo had ever met and she would not relent, certainly not here, not now.

"She won't let me see him unless I agree to turn traitor," Kylo snarls. "I know my mother better than you, _girl._ "

Rey blinks, Kylo narrows his eyes, " _What_?"

"You - I've never heard you call her your mother before," Rey says. She's cautious but she's firm and it takes Kylo a few moments to process what she's said. Had he? Had he slipped? He thinks back. He had. He had slipped. He let Ben in, he had let Ben speak up and the girl had _seen._

(There are memories that rush forwards, that pour in unrelenting, games and bedtime stories and piggy back rides with Uncle Chewie. Summers spent planet side, running through the cities of Hosnian Prime, learning to pilot the Falcon, his mother hugging him tight and saying, " _it's for the best, Ben, you know that, right?_ "

His father isn't there, this isn't his idea, he's heard them arguing about it more than once but his mother insists. He'll be safe with Uncle Luke, Uncle Luke will protect him.

" _Ben, tell me you know that_."

Ben pushes her away. Ben kicks and screams. Ben _doesn't_ know that. Ben doesn't want to be here, he doesn't want to be with Uncle Luke he wants to be with _her_ and Dad and Chewie. He wants to be at _home._

But she is unrelenting and her eyes are cold and dark.

Luke has a hand on his shoulder and his mother is walking away. His mother is _leaving_ him and his cries fall upon deaf ears.

And Rey sees _all_ of it.)

 _Hurt her and she'll hurt him,_ Ben chants. _Hurt her and she'll hurt him._ But Kylo is deaf to it, he reaches out and the Force resists as though there is a barrier between he and it but he pushes through and catches Rey off guard.

In a flash he has thrown her across the room. She hits the wall that conceals the door with a loud thud and lands in a tangled mess of limbs.

Kylo is breathing heavily. That took far more out of him than it should have. He can hear an alarm distantly and he's getting to ready to snap her neck, to break every bone in her body, to tear her _limb_ from _limb_ because Ben is _dead_ but she has brought him back.

He does not get the chance, however. Rey comes up fighting, she's not as skilled as he is but she is definitely as strong. His grandfather's lightsaber is in her hand, bright and shiny and rightly _his._

"I don't want to hurt you, Kylo," she says, low and clear through gritted teeth.

Kylo tries to tear the lightsaber from her grip but the Force just _won't -_ He launches himself at her instead,

The door behind Rey slides open and his mother stands there, flanked by his Uncle and there it is: his opportunity. Skywalker is the one limiting his connection to the Force if he can just make that _stop_ he can get out of here. He can get Hux and they can _leave._

He lashes out with all his strength but Luke is strong, stronger than Kylo remembers. His will holds firm. _Think of Hux_ , Kylo tells himself. Think of Hux and Hux's pain and fear, think of how _she_ betrayed him _again_. Think of Ben, that lonely, lost little boy she left to fall on a strange planet a long time ago.

He throws Luke back against the wall outside of his cell, hears him cry out, hears the crack as his head meets the solid surface.

Rey gasps out loud, "Luke!" she ducks around Kylo, and his by Luke's side in an instance. Bending over him, talking to him slowly and gently.

Only Leia remains between him and freedom and she does not look scared.

When he killed his fa - when he killed Han Solo he had not looked scared either. But he had not looked scared because he believed he was getting his son back. Leia does not look scared because she's always expected this, "Ben, that's enough!" she says _. Commands_.

Kylo feels the rage boil through him. The walls around them _tremble_.

"My name is _Kylo_!" He roars. He reaches out. This is it. He is going to snap her neck, to crush her windpipe, to watch as she asphyxiates as he had watched the light go out of Han Solo's eyes.

(There is the ghost of a hand at his cheek - his father ruffling his hair, trying to teach him to shoot straight - )

Leia is trembling now; at last, she looks afraid. But no, no it's not fear. It's _sorrow._ Deep and overwhelming sorrow. There are people all around them now, a hundred guns pointed at his head. Leia holds up a hand to them, to hold them back.

"If you are going to kill me, Ben, you do it now." She says and her voice does not shake.

He is going to kill her. He _is._ His hand is outstretched, the Force tingling at his finger tips. Dark and Light, both at his command. He is far more powerful than anyone here so why can't he _do it._

Behind Leia, Rey is getting to her feet, dragging Luke with her. He is woozy, holding one hand to the back of his head and blinking hard.

"Ben, you do it now," Leia says again, softer.

"I _will_!" Ben spits. _Kylo_ spits. "I will!"

But he _can't._

He _can't._

"I'm sorry," Leia says. "Ben, I am so, so sorry, for all of it."

And Kylo _hates_ her in that moment. Why is _she_ apologising? Does she think it'll change anything? Truly?

"I should never have sent you away," she continues. "I should never have kept Snoke a secret, I thought I could handle it but well, we know how that went." She gives a little self-depreciating smile that does not suit her face and he knows what she's trying to do, she's trying to make him pity her, make him _take_ pity on her, well he won't - it won't work - it _won't._

But her eyes are wet now, she blinks hard but she can't stop a single tear making its way down her cheek, "I should have protected you better," she says. "I'm your _mother._ "

"Yes," Kylo says, without thinking. "You _should_ have."

She laughs, sadly, "I knew I should have listened to Han. He always knew you better than me."

 _No,_ Kylo wants to say. _That's not true._ Han understood some things but Leia had been the one to soothe the nightmares, to hold him when he was sick. Leia had been the one he told about the voice that whispered to him at night, Leia had been the one that had believed him.

From the people gathered around them, there comes a familiar wail.

Leia turns immediately, "No, Chewie, you stay there."

The wookie doesn't listen. He barges through the crowd, making his way towards Kylo.

"Stop!" Kylo yells, "I'll kill you! You know I will! I killed Han!"

Chewbacca lets out a soft, mournful noise, _I know, but you won't hurt me. You won't hurt us._

Kylo would do anything for a lightsaber right now. This would be easier with his lightsaber. Where is it, he wonders. Have they destroyed it?

Chewbacca is within reach, Kylo spins to face him, sends him staggering back a few paces, " _Stop,_ " he roars. Chewie does.

"Ben," Leia says gently.

He shouldn't have come here. He _shouldn't_ have.

He spins towards her, "You stop too!"

There are too many of them. Too many of them.

"Ben," Luke says. "Kylo, don't do this. Please, not again."

Rain. The bodies of his fellow students scattered about, some of them were so _small -_ His Uncle on his knees - _That's right, Kylo,_ Snoke purrs. _Now there'll be no one to stand in our way._

He recoils and that's all Chewbacca needs to reach forwards and grab him and Kylo goes rigid, expecting to be thrown back into the cell, to be choked to unconsciousness but instead, Chewie appears to be _hugging him._

Kylo goes limp.

Leia is in front of him while Chewie holds him from behind, she reaches up and brushes a finger along his cheekbone, "I never thought you'd get so tall," she says, in a strangled voice. Her hand comes away wet.

Kylo swallows thickly.

"I'm sorry, Ben," she says. "I am so, so sorry."

She takes a step forwards and wraps her arms around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am one of those sad people who truly believes hugs can save the world
> 
> gosh this is dumb im sorry :')


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i honestly didn't mean for this to take so long! sorry!
> 
> anyway, happy valentines day dw if you don't have a valentine, you're all my valentine now.
> 
> so uh, what didja get me? flowers? chocolates?
> 
> domhnall gleeson?
> 
> (please say its domhnall)

Afterwards, Kylo sits in silence in his cell.

He's perched on the mattress (on the floor now, he destroyed the frame a while ago), up against the wall, knees drawn up to his chest. His head rests on them and at some point he's started drawing those heavy, long breaths his mother taught him to when he was a boy. _Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale._

His limbs feel heavy, like everything's been drained out of them and there's nothing he'd like more than to _sleep_ but he can't. There's too much white noise in his head.

_Inhale.  Exhale._

He can't feel the Force and he's not sure if that's his uncle's doing or if he's just too tired. If, maybe, some unknowable part of his brain has finally figured out where the problem lies and cut it out of him. He thought he'd feel lonely without, instead he feels strangely calm.

_Inhale._

His mother had apologised.

_Exhale._

His uncle had apologised.

_Inhale._

_Chewie_ had apologised.

_Exhale._

He doesn't _understand._ There'd been a part of him, a part that he _hated_ that had only ever wanted to hear those words but he hadn't thought - and he'd taken so much from them. That was the worst of it.

_Inhale._

His head _aches._

_Exhale._

The door snicks open.

He peers up and finds Rey standing there. She doesn't enter with her usual confidence; instead she takes a few hesitant steps into the room to set down the tray of food and drops back to hover by the room. She's not frightened of him, even after everything. She's wary though, tip-toeing around him as though he's liable to explode again any minute, but she stays. She waits, expectantly rather than leaving.

Kylo wonders if she's expecting him to apologise. He's not going to, in any case.

He meets her steady gaze, "How is she?" he asks. She knows who he means. It's not like there's anyone else he'd ask about.

"She's okay," Rey says, in a measured tone. "Luke's with her. They're talking things through."

He swallows. Nods.

He was supposed to kill Luke that day at the academy; Snoke had tasked him with that before he'd decided the rest of the students needed to die. Kylo had tried, he really had and when he hadn't, when his uncle had fled, he'd spun some tale to Snoke about wanting his uncle to see his transformation. About wanting him to see how he'd failed, about destroying him emotionally and spiritually.

Snoke had bought it, it had been the first time Kylo had been able to hide things from him. He's always wondered if it was his uncle that bore the news to his parents, if he'd turned up on Hosnian Prime, sopping wet and wide-eyed. He hadn't thought his uncle would flee completely though, he was _Luke Skywalker_ , he shouldn't have run like a coward and there - _there -_ there's anger unfurling in his chest and he _feels_ it.

That pull to the Dark side. That insistent tug. He digs his finger nails into the flesh of his knees, grits his teeth and _resists_ without quite knowing why.

Rey must feel it too because she lets out a little shuddering gasp, like she's suddenly been overcome by a chill.

He looks up at her, "Was there anything else?" he asks, coldly.

She clenches her jaw and shakes off whatever tug she's feeling. "We thought you should know, Hux talked."

Kylo is on his feet in an instant. He can't feel Hux but there has only ever been one way to make Hux talk and it hurts - it is _killing_ him to know that he had been so close to forgiving them, to giving in and then they go and do _this -_

Rey derails his train of thought as quickly as it is dreamt up, "We didn't touch him. Don't believe me? Check." There's a challenge in her dark eyes and Kylo stupidly takes it.

He reaches out, the Force is there, weak but there and her mind is open and unguarded. They haven't touched Hux, that much is true. The pilot, Dameron, he wormed his way in, got Hux to speak but more than that - she wants him to see more than that.

She wants him to see Luke, Luke as she first met him, alone and _wrecked._ Full of guilt, unable to face up to the idea of it happening again. She wants him to see Chewie, his agonised howl when Han died, the way he couldn't bring himself to shoot Kylo where it would do any real damage. She wants him to see Han, Han in his last days, same clothes, same attitude. (He looked at Rey like he'd looked at Kylo once.)

She wants him to see their grief.

She wants him to know how much it hurt his mother.

He jerks back and her dark eyes are still on him, no longer challenging.

"He told us about the second base," she says, as though nothing else as transpired between them and it takes a few beats for Kylo's mind to catch up. "He's given us everything he can, its location, its specs. Even a few suggestions on improvements they might have made."

Kylo frowns. Why would Hux talk? Why would he talk now?

"Hux' s father has taken over command," Rey continues. "We have enough to move on the base, we think. But we need more information on Snoke and Hux doesn't have that."

Kylo nods weakly, "You want me to tell you how to defeat him?"

Rey looks faintly surprised, "Uh, well, yes."

"You don't," Kylo says, honestly. "You think I'm strong with the Force? Snoke is far stronger than I. You won't be able to defeat him, he'd tear you apart."

Something dark crosses Rey's features, "So, what? What're we supposed to do? Just run away? Hope he doesn't kill us?"

"Take out Hux's father," Kylo says. "And the base. It will be enough of a blow to drive him off. Alone he won't be as much of a threat."

"Until what?" Rey snaps. "That's how this all happened, you know. The New Republic let the First Order build itself up because they didn't see them as 'much of a threat' and look what happened! We can't afford to let this happen again!"

Kylo huffs out a small laugh, "This will always happen again. Haven't you been paying attention?"

But Rey shakes her head, "No. No, it won't happen again. Not if we don't let it. Not if we end it now."

Kylo could argue with her, he could point out that Snoke is not the only evil in the galaxy, that the dark side is not the root of all destruction but he's tired, so tired. He sighs and rubs at his forehead with the heel of his hand.

"What do you want me to say?" he asks, eventually.

"Say you'll help," she says, immediately.

Kylo looks up at her, searching her face for any hint of deception. Then he snorts, "What? You want me to charge into battle with you?"

"Why not?" She asks, hands outstretched. "You're strong as I am and you know more about the bases than we do."

"You're not afraid I'd simply kill you first chance I got?"

She pauses at that, looks him up and down before she shakes her head. "You wouldn't. Not anymore."

Kylo arches a brow, "You're so certain?"

She nods.

Kylo runs a hand through his hair, looks away from her. If he goes back to Snoke's base, Snoke will kill him. Snoke will kill them all. Though, he has to admit, killing Hux Sr. would be ridiculously satisfying.

He sighs, "Can I see him?" and he's shocked at how weak, how frail, his voice sounds.

Rey bites her lip, glances back towards the door as though she's begging permission off someone invisible to Kylo. When she looks back her jaw is set, "Screw it," she mutters. "Alright. You can see him."

Kylo's legs feel embarrassingly weak. Rey beckons to him and he follows unsteadily. She pauses when they reach the door, hand outstretched to punch in the code to open it, "Try anything and you'll never leave this cell again," she says and he believes her.

Kylo nods and the door slides open. Poe Dameron and the rebel stormtrooper are lurking behind it, looking guilty, as though they had been eavesdropping. FN-2187 looks momentarily stunned but Dameron shows no such surprise, he only looks to Rey and says, "I hope you know what you're doing."

Rey flashes him a brilliant smile, "I always do, don't I?"

"Uh, no. Not really," FN-2187 says quietly, trailing after them.

Hux's cell is a few paces down the hall to his, Rey taps in the code, keeping her eyes fixed on Kylo. Dameron stands beside her, FN-2187 behind them. He seems to have regained a little of his bravado and is now trying his best to look intimidating. Kylo ignores him, he's unimportant now.

They make an odd little trio, he thinks. The scavenger from Jakku with a lightsaber at his belt, the rebel pilot, the ex-storm trooper. He wonders if anyone looked at he and Hux and Phasma thusly, the prim and proper General, the dedicated Captain and himself, a shadow in the face of everyone, Snoke's apprentice, the child of Leia Organa and Han Solo, the nephew of Luke Skywalker. He was supposed to be the galaxy's new hope but that was never going to be him. These three though, they could carry that weight.

Rey doesn't say anything as the door slides open. Kylo steps in, the door slides shut behind him and that's that.

It's dark in Hux's cell. Hux is on the bed, back to the door. He lies above the covers, curled in on himself slightly, anyone else would assume he was asleep but Kylo knows. He doesn't run. He takes long steps and pauses at the bedside before he clambers onto it. He's careful not to touch him, remembering the way he'd flinched back before.

"Did anyone ever tell you," Hux says, quietly. "That you are an awful rescuer, Ren?"

Kylo snorts, "You know, I don't think they have. But then, I don't think I've ever rescued anyone before."

Hux shifts back a fraction, so that his back presses against Kylo's front, a warm, solid weight. Before Kylo can stop himself, he's thrown a loose arm across Hux's torso. Hux tenses and Kylo's about to pull away when Hux hisses, " _Don't_ ," and relaxes, little by little.

They lie in silence for a time and Kylo breathes him in. This is the man he's thrown his life away for and there is no part of him that regrets it.

"So, I hear you talked," Kylo says, after a beat. It's probably the wrong thing to say but it's been weighing on him.

Hux sighs, "Kylo," he says softly.

"I'm not angry," Kylo says quickly.

"My father has taken over command," Hux says. "He won't waste his time in getting Starkiller II up and running. As soon as he does, he'll blow this hunk of rock out of the sky. Or, he'll send the entire First Order force here to kill me personally."

Kylo's grip on Hux tightens a fraction, "That girl from Jakku, Rey. She wants me to fight with them, to guide them through the base."

Hux lets out a low chuckle, "Really? She's not worried you'll kill her as soon as her back is turned?"

"Apparently not. I don't think anyone else is convinced, though."

Hux shifts a little, "If you do go then..." he trails off.

"I'll kill your father," Kylo says firmly. "You know I will." He knows immediately that that was not what Hux had been about to say, but Hux doesn't say anything further so Kylo doesn't press the matter. Instead, he draws Hux against him fully and rests his forehead against Hux's hair. He can feel memories rising in Hux, hands where they shouldn't be, eyes and loud, cruel laughter, he wills them away. Hux lets out a contented little sigh.

"Should I go with them?" he asks, voice muffled by Hux's hair. Hux tenses a little, "I'll stay if you want me to," he adds quickly.

Jerkily, Hux nods.

"You want me to stay?"

Hux rolls to face him then, carefully so that Kylo doesn't have to let go of him. It's hard to make out his expression in the dim light and as soon as he's resettled he presses his face against Kylo's throat, "Please," he says softly.

Kylo lets his eyes close against the wave of _anger_ he feels. What the galaxy has done to Hux, what the galaxy has taken from him. "You don't need to say please," Kylo says.

Hux doesn't say anything.

-

When Kylo wakes up, the cell is lit up.

Hux has rolled away from him in his sleep, lying on his side, breathing deep and easy. Kylo watches him for a few moments, he's lost weight, that much is obvious and his hair is beginning to get long, curling around the nape of his neck where once it had been cut blunt and even. The bruises have faded but there are still dark circles there, no lighter than the bruises had been and Kylo knows Hux has not been getting enough sleep. He reaches out, to brush back a few stray locks of hair or to run a thumb along Hux's cheekbone but Hux shifts, rolling over onto his other side and murmuring something in his sleep.

Kylo draws his hand back and swallows, Hux should rest.

Kylo stands up.

If he follows the scavenger girl with his grandfather's lightsaber into war perhaps they will be lenient on him. On Hux, he means. He can make it part of his deal. _I'll fight for you, in exchange for him._ He wonders if his mother will buy that.

He crosses to the door and as if by magic, it opens.

He's expecting Rey, or perhaps Chewie but instead, Poe Dameron hovers in the doorway. Kylo can sense his fear, he's not trying to hide it or if he is, he's doing an awful job of it. He eyes Kylo cautiously and speaks in a carefully measured tone though he's trying to sound casual, "I saw that you were awake," he says. "Your mo - General Organa wants to see you."

Kylo vaguely remembers Dameron from his life before Snoke. They met a few times as children, Dameron had always been surrounded by friends, leading them off on expeditions and getting into mischief. Kylo himself had been a neurotic child, hiding behind his mother and his father and his wookie, but Dameron had tried to make friends with him, the few times they met. He wonders if Dameron is thinking of those times now, he could check of course but there is something holding him back. It is not quite guilt, he was doing what he believed to be right at the time, it is more regret. Regret with the benefits of hindsight.

Dameron looks past him as the silence between them grows and nods to Hux's sprawled figure, "He okay?"

There is a ridiculously unwarranted burst of jealousy and Kylo crosses his arms, "He's _fine._ " He says, stiffly. Dameron seems to pick up on Kylo's barely veiled envy and a brief look of surprise crosses his features. Kylo changes the subject, "You said General Organa wished to see me."

"Right, right," Dameron says, shifting. "Uh, come with me, I guess. Or do you, uh, wanna wait for - ?" He looks to Hux again and Kylo follows suit.

Hux will panic if he wakes up without him, Kylo knows. He will hide it well but he will panic nonetheless and Kylo would very much like to avoid that but, Hux is also _exhausted._ This is probably the first decent sleep he has had since before the kidnapping, not counting the forced healing sleep of course, but Kylo knows from experience how groggy they can leave one feeling.

Regretfully, he tears his eyes away, back to Dameron, "He will be fine. We better not keep your General waiting."

Dameron nods, "Come on then."

He leads Kylo out and the door snicks shut behind them. To Kylo's surprise there are no further reinforcements waiting in the hallway, in fact, now that he thinks about it, Dameron himself doesn't even appear to be armed. A quick glance confirms it. Kylo is unsure how to feel about this development so he decides to press the matter.

"You are unarmed," he observes.

Dameron chuckles, "Oh, don't worry, buddy. I'm armed enough." He's a few paces ahead of Kylo and he turns, raising his arms into a fighting stance. "I'm not just a great pilot, I'm also one of the most accomplished hand to hand fighters on the base."

Kylo raises an eyebrow, he's not entirely sure Dameron is being serious. "Good to know," he says, dryly.

Dameron grins and lowers his arms, "Anyway, the General's decided you're not a threat anymore."

"Why?" Kylo demands, "Because you have my - because you have Hux as a hostage?"

Dameron actually looks a little surprised at that, "No! I - no, not that. Because we figured... after yesterday and all. Besides, Rey trusts you."

Kylo frowns, "She does?"

Dameron nods, "And Luke. And the General. Well, they don't _trust_ you, but they know you're not likely to turn on us."

 _Intesting,_ Kylo thinks.

"And besides," Dameron adds cheerily. "If you do, I'm pretty sure Rey could kick your ass. She was holding back last time."

\---

Dameron leads him through what Kylo assumes is the control room, it's mostly empty but for a few techs busily monitoring radars and decoding messages. They look up when Kylo is led through, most stare at him with open vitriol and he wonders just how unpopular his mother's decision to forgive him has been. A few though, look merely intrigued, one even looks _sympathetic._

It makes Kylo's insides writhe with disgust; there is little he loathes more than the idea of someone _pitying_ him. He wants to hurt that woman. He wants to - but as soon as the thought enters his mind, he feels a surge of calming energy through the force. He scowls. _Luke._

His Uncle is lurking nearby, no doubt. Probably with Rey too. Kylo glares around the room, hoping they will make themselves known but they do not and Kylo curls his hands into fists at his side.

In front of him, Dameron draws to a halt, "Here we are," he says, facing a nondescript door. He flashes Kylo a warm smile over his shoulder and raps on the door politely, "General?"

"Enter," comes his mother's reply.

She is sat behind a desk, a holo held up in front of her face. She looks tired, Kylo notices. Tired and old. She looks up at him and sets the holo down.

"Thank you, Poe," she says. "You may leave."

Kylo raises an eyebrow. They are truly intending to leave him alone in a room with her? After all he has done to them? Dameron though, doesn't argue, instead he inclines his head, glances up at Kylo one more time and departs, leaving Kylo alone with General Organa.

Kylo realises he has no idea what he's supposed to say to her now. Before, it was easy to pretend she was nothing to him; she was merely his best chance at getting Hux out alive, an enemy General with a soft-heart no matter how much she may protest that. Even with Ben clawing just under the surface, desperate to get out.

Ben is silent now, but he's not gone. There's no aching chasm where he should be because Ben is Kylo and Kylo is Ben and he cannot ignore that anymore.

"You wanted to see me?" he eventually grits out.

"I did." She agrees. "How did you sleep?"

Kylo frowns, trying to ascertain whether that is a veiled threat or an honest inquiry. "Fine, I suppose," he answers eventually.

His mother nods, "And your General? Are you satisfied that we have not harmed him?"

Kylo swallows, "I am."

She nods again and looks away, a small smile gracing her lips. She used to wear that smile a lot when he was young. When he had done something stupid or she had found whatever little nonsense Han had left for her as an apology after a big fight. "I'm not surprised she went behind my back, you know," she says, conversationally. "Your Uncle told me what she intended to do."

"Why didn't you stop her?"

She gives him an amused look, "I have only known Rey a short time but in that time I have learned that stopping her is not really an option. Once she has set her mind to something, she will see it through." She leans forwards, across her desk, studying him closely.

Kylo fidgets uncomfortably under gaze. He feels six years old again and itchy in formal robes as his mother appraises him. He has no idea why she has brought him here, he realises, but he doubts it is just to make him feel uncomfortable. She will draw this out, he knows, whatever it is and he would rather be there when Hux woke up so he takes a breath and says, "I have had time to consider your offer."

She raises an eyebrow, "Our offer?"

He inclines his head, "Our safety for information. I know Hux has already given you the details of the second base - and many of our tactics, I am sure - but you need information on Snoke and even with Hux's information, you will have difficulty infiltrating the second base. Especially if Hux Sr is in charge."

"He is," she confirms and then, "You said all this to Rey yesterday."

"I did," Kylo nods. "And today I have a proposal."

She looks intrigued, "I am listening."

"I will accompany your troops when you attack the second base. It is one thing to be told where things are and how they work, it is another to be shown. Or, if you prefer, I can provide support from a distance or better yet, lead a second force to strike Snoke's own base."

General Organa nods, "Use the attack on the base as a distraction?"

"Yes. It will be difficult to pull off, Snoke is more connected to the Force than anyone, but I am certain between us we can find a way to move undetected."

She nods again thoughtfully, mulling it all over in her mind, "So you will ally with us openly and I have your word you will not double cross us?"

Kylo inclines his head, "You do. You have something precious to me as collateral, anyway." He adds, in a low voice.

She does not rise to his snide comment, instead she meets his gaze, "In exchange for?"

"Hux is not to be harmed," Kylo states. "He is not be put through anymore interrogations, he is not to be tried and he is certainly not be executed." His mother looks as though she may interrupt so Kylo ploughs on, "And when this is all over he is no longer to be a prisoner."

"Ben - " she begins.

"It's Kylo," he snaps, reflexively. She looks hurt for a brief moment of time and Kylo wants to add _but Ben is fine, you can call me Ben_ but he doesn't.

She starts again, " _Kylo_ , that will not be possible. You know that. To keep him from execution is one thing but... Do you truly think I could let a man who has committed possibly the greatest war crime of our time go _free_?"

"I don't care how," Kylo snaps. "Keep him as a political prisoner kept in luxury, give out that we died in the final battle or exile us to Tattooine or a barren planet in an uninhabited system, I don't care. Just make it happen."

"Kylo, I can't agree to that. I can't _promise_ that, you know I can't."

Kylo crosses his arms, "Then I will not fight for you. I will offer you my guidance and you will fail."

She sighs and is silent for a long moment, studying him intently. Eventually, she sits back in her chair, "I can't make any solid promises, you must understand that. But I give you my word that I will do everything in my power to make that happen. Provided, of course, you come through on your end."

He meets her eyes. She's telling the truth, or perhaps, he just wishes to believe she is telling the truth. Hesitantly, he holds out his hand. She takes it slowly.

They shake.

"Deal," he says softly.

Her hand lingers on his. When she lets go his hand still feels pleasantly warm. "May I go now?" he asks and his voice comes out sounding far more strangled than he intended it.

She nods, "You may." She says softly. "Poe will escort you back to your cell."

"My o _wn_ cell?"

"You may remain in your General's." She says.

Kylo inclines his head, "Thank you." He turns to go but there is something keeping him there in that room. There is something making his every step slow and languid, something that makes him want to turn back to her. He knows what it is, this deep need inside his chest and he blames it on the exhaustion when he gives in to it and turns back to her.

"Mother," he says, thickly, hesitantly.

She looks back up at him and if she is surprised that he called her mother she does not show it.

"I'm..." he begins, "I'm _sorry._ "

And just like that, it feels as though a great weight has been lifted. His knees feel weak, his hands loose, he shudders out a great, heavy sigh and by the way his Mother's eyes flutter shut briefly she feels it too.

Sorry is not enough, he knows. Will never be enough and she knows as well as he, that it is not the great evil he has done that he is apologising for. He is not apologising for the mass slaughter of Rebel forces or the bloody raids on planets, he is not apologising for stealing children and watching them raised and assimilated into a force of killers. He is not apologising for slaughtering his fellow students and breaking his uncle's heart (though he is regretful.)

He is apologising for hurting her and it is not enough, but it is a start.

When his mother opens her eyes, they are glassy and wet.

"You know," she says quietly. "All this time, I had thought the only chance I would have to see you again was in some battle. We would both be fighting or you would be attacking our base, or it would be during the aftermath and I would come across... I would find you." She stands up, comes around the desk and reaches up to touch his cheek again.

Kylo leans into it. He had thought the same once.

"I'm glad it never came to that," she says. "And I hope that it won't."

Kylo hopes so too.

\---

Dameron is quiet as he leads Kylo back to his cell though he keeps snatching glances at Kylo when he thinks Kylo isn't looking. It's annoying but Kylo is too distracted to care much.

The base is busier now, more full of hateful eyes. They pass a group of young soldiers and one of them mutters quite audibly, " _First Order scum._ " Kylo barely resists tearing the woman's head off.

"Sorry about that," Dameron says, in a low voice. "Some people are morons."

" _Most,_ " Kylo mutters.

Dameron gives him an odd little half smile and says, "For what it's worth, if you do fight with us I'll have your back. You've done some shitty things but if you're fighting for the right side now then that's all that matters."

Kylo sighs. He's thinking of Hux and his crimes. His thinking of himself and the trail of blood and guts he's left across the galaxy, "Does it really?" he mutters.

Dameron looks up at him, "Well, in my opinion and a lot of my men. It might take them a while to get used to it, you know? But they will. Once they see you fighting for us they'll calm down quickly enough." He gives Kylo an encouraging smile that Kylo does not and will not ever return.

"I'll see about someone bringing you guys some breakfast," he says, when they reach the cell. Kylo nods and Dameron taps in the code to open the door, giving Kylo one last smile before it shuts behind him.

"Insufferable, isn't he?" Hux says, when Kylo enters. He's sat on the edge of the bed looking pale and grim but alive. His knuckles are white from where he's been gripping the edge of the mattress too tightly and Kylo can picture him, sat stiffly, clenching his hands trying to steady his breathing, trying to chase away the memories.

Kylo crosses the room and reaches out, giving Hux enough time to move away if he wants to. Hux doesn't and Kylo gently strokes a hand across his forehead. Hux sighs, "You were gone when I woke up."

They never slept together before this, they never woke up side by side. Hux reaches out and grips his sleeve.

"I'm sorry; General Organa wanted to see me."

Hux looks up at him, "What about?"

Kylo swallows, brushes a hand through Hux's hair and lets the other one come to rest on Hux's shoulder. He's careful not to let Hux feel trapped, to give him ample room to shift away. "I made a deal," he says quietly.

Hux looks questioning.

Kylo sighs and moves to sit down beside him. "You'll be angry with me," he warns.

Hux snorts, their shoulders brush. "I'm _always_ angry with you."

"Yes," Kylo agrees. "I suppose you are." He turns, meeting Hux's expectant gaze. "I agreed to help them. Not only to share information but to accompany them when the time comes."

Hux is not prone to great displays of emotion but Kylo has known him long enough to know that for him, closing his eyes and exhaling slowly is about the equivalent of destroying a small console. He wants Hux to understand, he _needs_ Hux to understand, he is doing this for him. He is doing this so Hux gets his best chance, so Hux survives.

Hux sighs, "By Lord Vader himself, Ren, there's not much point in me surviving if you don't."

It's a little unexpected and Kylo finds himself smiling, "You could always come with me," he suggests weakly.

Hux shakes his head, "I'd be a liability. You know that." Then he sighs again and shuts his eyes, leans very, very lightly against Kylo's side. Slowly, Kylo snakes an arm around him. Hux allows it and leans his head against Kylo's shoulder. "You're an idiot, Ren," he says, softly, gently.

Kylo turns his head and presses a kiss to the top of Hux's hair, "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know that some of you were probably expecting something more, idk, action-y? and initially i considered writing a kylo and hux infiltrate the base and earn the rebellion's forgiveness once and for all but that just didn't feel right and it would be way long and i just don't have the concentration to keep that up
> 
> that being said, i hope you enjoyed this fic and thank you so, so much for being the best audience i could ask for
> 
> <3

**Author's Note:**

> [ i have no idea how the force works but kylo is like super good at force things right so shh just let me have my angsty emo trash lord healing the space nazi with his space magic ]


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